Sens at Land’s End

I started back to school today, which means that right now I should probably be doing my reading or working on the presentation I have to do next week about Sir Hilary Jenkinson’s ideas on the appraisal of archival documents … are you still there? Believe it or not, Jenkinson is actually fairly interesting; however, it turns out he doesn’t quite have the ability to hold my attention when the Sens come along and do something silly, like beat each other up in practice or what have you, and then do amusing interviews about it on TSN.

According to Dany Heatley, the whole thing can be blamed on flu-induced crankiness. Moral of the story: it’s a really bad idea to mess with a sick hockey team. These guys will kick their best friends’ asses when they feel poorly, so what do you think they’d do to you?

Ray Emery offers a simpler explanation for the incident, saying that they’re “big boys” and this is just “sometimes how we sort things out.” … Riiiight. As a female person, my first reaction to witnessing these bizarre male bonding rituals is usually somewhere between Holy testosterone poisoning, Batman! and Aww, aren’t they just the cutest things ever. Either way, I think it’s pretty entertaining.

If McGrattan and Emery were women — we’ll say their names would be Brianna and Raylene, which has no bearing at all on this scenario but it makes me laugh — they would have resolved this problem through the obviously more civilized method of being really nice to each other’s faces while bitching constantly to their other friends, leaving poor Jasonna Spezza caught in the middle. That’s how the double-x set rolls.

But they’re not women, so Spezza, instead of being in a foul mood from being forced to make awkward attempts to mediate between two friends, seemed to be in typically Spezza-like good humour after practice today, and came up with one of those awesome soundbites that only he could ever produce:

We’re all brothers … it’s like when you fight your brother, you know, you’re heated in the moment, and then you laugh about it afterwards. Tomorrow those guys’ll be out to lunch together and lovin’ each other again I’m sure.

The guy has such a great way with words. Honestly, I sometimes wish I could just sit around and watch Spezza interviews all the time.

A few noteworthy happenings for the Sens these last couple of days:

First, Jason Spezza has been named the NHL’s first star for December because of his 25 points in 14 games. I definitely think he deserves this, and am very glad to see him being recognized for his general awesomeness.

Second, because of the Sens’ great record to this point in the season, John Paddock will be coaching the Eastern Conference All-Star Team. Detroit’s Mike Babcock will coach the West.

Third, and this is the best news of all news ever, according to TSN, Anton Volchenkov will return to the Sens’ lineup against Buffalo on Friday. Huzzah! It’s probably too much to ask only one man to completely eliminate the team’s recent defensive problems — 14 goals against in two games?! Come on! — even if that one man is the shot-blocking equivalent of Sue Storm from the Fantastic Four. But having him back can only help.

The Sens have played a few games this year where they’ve scored a lot of goals but also given up a lot of goals (6-5 losses to both Nashville and Pittsburgh as well as a 6-4 win over Atlanta and the recent 8-6 horror against Washington), which concerns me a little. I don’t think they should ever score more than 4 and lose. I’d be extremely happy if they could go the rest of the season without giving up more than 3 goals in a game. Note to Sens: get on that.

This morning, TSN reports that Nick Foligno has been sent to Binghamton. I like Foligno and am a bit sad to hear that, but I’m sure they know what they’re doing. Cody Bass is still with the big team, which surprises me a little. I’d have assumed he’d be the first to get sent down.

Other than that, I woke up at a ridiculously early hour to watch Team Canada take on Finland in the World Junior Hockey Championship yesterday. Canada won, and will play the United States in the semi-final tomorrow. I thought Canada played much better against Finland than they had in any of their previous games so that’s a positive sign. The most impressive player on the team to my mind has been John Tavares.

Sue Storm, because she makes force fields, of course, not because she’s invisible.

Well, the Sens didn’t end 2007 on a very high note, but hey, they started 2008 on a great one! Unfortunately they were so very awesome in the first five minutes against Washington today that they used up nearly their entire stash of mojo, leaving almost nothing for the other 55 minutes. How embarrassing for them! Seriously, it was bad. I listened to the whole game but I must admit that I basically tuned out once it was 3-2 for the Caps. Unlike the game on the 29th when I actually thought the Sens might pull off a comeback, today I was almost positive they were out of it after the first. I don’t like feeling that way. Hopefully they’ll shape up soon. They surely won’t have a problem getting motivated for their two upcoming games against Buffalo, but Tampa Bay is probably another story. I will not be impressed if they lose that one.

If only the Sens cared enough about impressing me that that statement could have an impact.

The day was not totally lost, however, because I watched the outdoor game between Pittsburgh and Buffalo. I don’t often find myself wishing I were in Buffalo, mostly because it is gross, but today it seemed like the place to be. It looked like a lot of fun! It’s too bad for the quality of the game that the weather wasn’t a bit better, but in the end I think the snow added to the atmosphere. I am a big fan of Brian Campbell from his days with the Ottawa 67’s, so I was very excited to see him score the Sabres’ goal. He also made a really entertaining hit on Ryan Malone, or perhaps Malone hit him — I’m not totally sure who instigated it, but either way it was cool. Campbell seemed to bounce off Malone, and then he flew through the air, like a big red-headed bird.

I like Sidney Crosby and am not as bothered as some by the constant focus on him, so I enjoyed watching him today as well. He made some nice plays; the one where he bounced the puck on his stick stands out, possibly because NBC replayed it about 8 billion times. (Yes, I watched on NBC. I wanted to see how the other half lives.) Having Crosby score the winner in the shootout must have been like the best dream ever come true for Gary Bettman. Normally I don’t like it when Bettman gets what he wants, but this was quite fairy tale-like, with the pretty snow, and the pretty young boy scoring the pretty goal. How could anyone resist the magic?

So that was today in hockey. But this is January 1, a day when the thing to do is reflect on the past year and set out some goals or hopes for the next one. This wouldn’t be a proper New Year’s Day blog post if I didn’t do something like that.

Of course, 2007 was a fantastic year to be a Sens fan, for the most part, and I’m sure I’ll never forget how much fun it was watching them make their way to the Final for the first time. The parts of life that took place between games were just about meaningless for a while there. Being in Ottawa at the time was amazing! I loved the way people celebrated the team. I am not an overly social person so I didn’t spend a lot of time on Sens Mile; however, I did go downtown the night they eliminated the Sabres. I stepped in vomit outside the McDonald’s on Elgin, but it was awesome nonetheless.

One of my favourite parts of the whole playoff run was seeing all the Sens flags flying everywhere, and the various window displays that popped up in stores along Bank Street. The best ones were the Great Glebe Emporium’s Stanley Cup made of cookware and the male blow-up doll with the speech bubble that said “GO SENS GO!” in the sex shop down by Bank and Gilmour. I wish I’d gone around and taken photos of all that stuff. I could have done my own coffee table book and been a wealthy person by now.

My favourite on-ice moments of 2007 all come from the series against Buffalo. Mike Fisher’s short-handed breakaway goal in game one and his very business-like reaction to it set the tone of the series for me, and I knew the Sens were Final-bound as soon as he scored it. I think it might be my favourite goal … ever.

Another moment I loved was Jason Spezza and Daniel Alfredsson’s two on one in game five. A pretty play for sure, but the reason I like it so much is the way it started. I had just said something to my mother about how I didn’t think Dany Heatley was that great and all he ever did was score. Okay, yes, he does manage to do that much more often than most people, but my affections cannot be won with something as mundane as an assload of goals. It takes an undefinable, intangible quality — something that transcends mere point production — to make me truly appreciate a player. (Clearly: my former favourite player was Radek Bonk.) When Heatley came up with that nice little play to start the two on one, I was impressed. I started to watch him more closely after that point, and Heater has since become my very favourite player.

A final favourite moment is the obvious one: Alfie’s overtime winner in game five, which is surely the best and most memorable goal in Sens history. So far.

Which brings me to the future! (I don’t want to talk about the Final. At all. I’m repressing!) There are a few things I’d love to see from the team and some individual players in 2008.

Forwards: I would like Jason Spezza to stay healthy. For my money, he has been the Sens’ best player so far this season. I picked him to win the league scoring title this year and I think he just might pull it off if he doesn’t miss any more time. I would like Mike Fisher to play the entirety of the playoffs like the lunatic he is without hurting himself, and Nick Foligno to get more ice time. I thought he was fitting in well on that second line with Fisher and Alfredsson and wouldn’t mind seeing that combination make a return. Most of the other non-big three forwards, I only want them to start scoring a bit more on a consistent basis, preferably enough that no one will ever say secondary scoring is a problem again. As for Heatley and Alfredsson, they can just keep on being themselves and that is fine with me. I want Heater to keep his iron man streak going, and maybe try for 60 goals this year. He’d look pretty damn good holding that Rocket Richard Trophy (especially standing next to Spezza and the Art Ross).

Defencemen: I would like Chris Phillips to be his most solid self, and it’d be nice if Gerber could stop abusing him. I would like Wade Redden to play the way he did a couple of years ago. I would also like Joe Corvo to become a little bit less frightening defensively, because I adore his offensive side. That thing about not scaring the crap out of me when playing defense could apply to … um … the rest of the defensive corps as well. Finally, I want Anton Volchenkov to come back soon and start being scary in the good way again.

Goalies: I want one of them, and I honestly do not care which one (in my heart I prefer Gerber but I have no real problem with Emery either), to step up. They don’t have to be freaking Luongo, but it would be great if they could at least be consistently counted on to make the saves an NHL goalie should make.

All those wishes aside, what I, and no doubt all other Sens fans, want most of all to see is Alfie hoisting the Stanley Cup (and then passing it to playoff MVP Dany Heatley). I assume winning it is also the #1 New Year’s Resolution of every person who plays for or is involved with running the team. Through our combined powers — the players’ physical prowess and determination (non-existent today, but I’m sure it will make a triumphant return very soon), John Paddock’s motivational and tactical skills, Bryan Murray’s shrewd management, Eugene Melnyk’s bottomless wallet, and my excellent cross-country good vibe sending abilities — we might just get there.