Flyers 3, Senators 1. Another day, another loss for the stinky team. What can you do? I thought they played a bit better but nothing is going their way at the moment. Two of Philadelphia’s three goals came off unlucky bounces. The normally extremely good-natured Jason Spezza was kicked out of the game, and he seemed quite pissed off about it. There was one bright spot: Mike Fisher beat up Steve Downie. Downie has had that coming for a very, very long time, so it was good to see. The highlights showed Dean McAmmond — Downie’s first victim — on the bench saying “Atta boy, Fish!” Which is pretty much what I said.

I went out after class and finished buying my hockey ensemble, except I didn’t get a stick. I tried it all on and I must say that me in full hockey gear is just about the most ridiculous thing ever the most awe-inspiring and intimidating vision of greatness you could ever hope to see. I would post a picture of myself but I can’t take one with the gloves on and there’s no one around to ask to take one for me, so here is a picture of the equipment instead:

Yes, that is an old Montreal jersey, but I swear I’ll be thinking of that other team the whole time.

I recently decided to take up hockey: I spend enough time watching it, so it seems like it’d be a good idea to try playing it. I also love skating, and am hoping to improve in that area. I’ve registered for a women’s class offered through my university. I expect to be playing in the NHL within a few months.

To participate in this class, I’m required to have a full set of hockey gear, so I went to buy my hockey pants this morning. I was very amused because there’s that commercial with the hockey players’ beauty treatments, and Joe Thornton is in there saying “Do these pants make my butt look big?” One pair I tried on had a picture of Joe Thornton on the tag, and they were much bulkier than the other ones. They did make my butt look big!

When I paid for the pants, the guy helping me asked where I was from. I told him, and the conversation naturally turned to the fortunes of the major sports team in that city. When I left, I said I would probably be back to buy shoulder pads on Friday, and I thought by that time John Paddock would have been fired from his job coaching the aforementioned team.

What do I see mere moments after arriving at home? Paddock fired as of about 15 minutes ago, and Bryan Murray is taking over.

While I feel badly for Paddock just because I generally think being fired and basically publicly humiliated sucks, this move pleases me. These guys seem absolutely lost, like they have no idea where they’re supposed to be or what they should be doing, and it’s not hard to see why when the same group of forwards never seems to play together for more than a few shifts. I don’t think the problems are entirely his fault, but I definitely do believe he’s to blame for some of what’s gone wrong.

Now, if the idiot squad will only respond to this change, that will just be bloody freaking awesome.

The trade deadline has now passed. The nameless organization made one deal, getting Martin Lapointe from Chicago for a 6th round draft pick. Lapointe is the kind of guy who’s expected to provide leadership, which is something they need. They did not manage to get a goalie, sadly, but I never thought that was likely. So, no drastic improvements but no getting worse either. Like that’s possible.

However, I think two of their main competitors — Pittsburgh and Montreal — really screwed themselves over so that’s good news. Pittsburgh got Marian Hossa from Atlanta. Hossa is definitely a great player (at one time my favourite player, when he wore the Roman jersey), but I think they gave up way too much to get him and I don’t see it working out well for them at all. Montreal, meanwhile, seem to have thought they were going to get Hossa, and they traded Cristobal Huet to Washington for a 2nd round pick, which is totally ridiculous and it kind of makes me want to cry to think that a good goalie like Huet was available for such a small price and the bad team is still stuck with the same two incompetents. But anyway, it seems that Montreal traded Huet because they thought that to get Hossa they would have to take back one of Atlanta’s goalies, but then Hossa went to Pittsburgh so now Montreal is left with only Carey Price — a very talented goalie, no doubt, but still just a rookie — to tend goal for them in the playoffs. The Hossa trade happened with only about 5 minutes left before the deadline so I guess they didn’t have time to correct the situation. They can’t be very happy right now. Fans to riot?

There was some speculation that Washington wanted Huet because they were going to try to trade Olaf Kolzig, maybe to the horrible evil team, but Kolzig refused to waive his no trade clause. If that rumour was true, then … damn you Kolzig. I don’t like you anymore!

Overall most of the big moves were made by Western teams, which means whoever wins the East may get dismantled come final time anyway. I think Washington is maybe the most improved team in the East though. They’ve already beaten — one could even say slaughtered — the stupid team four times this season and I would hate to play them in the playoffs. They got Sergei Fedorov from Columbus, and I look forward to seeing him play with Ovechkin. A Russian dynamic duo! Or, trio, if they play them with Alexander Semin. But the other teams in the Northeast division, which is currently led by the lazy dumbasses, all got worse or stayed the same. This could enable the evil team to continue to suck yet still win their division. Huzzah.

Fell asleep with the TV on and woke up early this morning to hear TSN’s trade deadline coverage. I thought I’d just have it on at low volume while I dozed but then they started talking about the evil group of hockey players (cannot really be called a team) and it woke me up. They spent about 10 minutes ripping into them, which was interesting and all true. Speculation is there may be a coaching change. I rather hope so.

The TSN panel is basically filling time until something goes down. There’s been one trade between New Jersey and St. Louis, and Montreal has called a guy up which probably means something is happening. They’ve got a reporter in Montreal who confirmed that Marian Hossa’s equipment is indeed in a stall in the visitors’ dressing room — earth-shattering information. It’s all pretty entertaining really, in a ridiculous way.

Aww, they’re now saying Campbell to San Jose. Campbell … I wanted you back in Ottawa. Sigh.

My class today has been cancelled. I could use this extra time to be productive, but it’s looking more and more like I’m going to stay in bed watching hockey stuff all day. The loser brigade’s game is on TV this afternoon. Oh joy. I’m sure it will be horrific, and yet I will watch.

On Saturday, the bad hockey team, whose name I will not be using until they earn it back, was on TV playing Pittsburgh. I have never been so totally enraged by them as I was during that game. They ended up winning in overtime but they didn’t deserve it. The only good thing was that Heatley scored two goals after not getting one for a few games. The difference in him after he scored was amazing! He looked like a totally different player — happier, more energetic, and just generally better. It was great to see. He tends to score in bunches, so hopefully today he’ll get a few more (they are playing losing to — DEAR LORD NO NOT AGAIN — the Leafs as I write). He’s at 30 goals now with 20 games left in the season so he’ll need an average of one per game to get the 50. I say he can do it. The team, though, can go away. They are officially out of first place with New Jersey winning yesterday. They had been in first since the beginning of the season. 144 days. And they’ve blown it.

Tomorrow is the trade deadline and I will be interested to see what, if anything, happens. It’s likely that Brian Campbell will be traded from Buffalo. I would love it so much if the team which is the bane of my existence would acquire him. He is my favourite player in the league not currently in a uniform featuring a no doubt evil Roman soldier type guy. I don’t think it’s too likely that they will be able to get him, but you never know.

That stupid, pathetic “hockey” team is now losing 3-0 to a team that is, let’s see, 12 spots behind them in standings. I’ve juuuuust about had it with these guys. I think my new policy should be to expect nothing. Then anything they do produce, if they do come up with something at some point, will be a pleasant surprise.

Oh make that 4-0. Oh good. Trade the whole team! I don’t want them anymore. I’m not even angry now. I can’t be bothered.

To cheer myself up, here is something more ridiculous than the most useless bunch of former hockey players in the world. It might be one of those things everyone has already seen, but in case it isn’t: I’m Fucking Matt Damon. I laughed so hard when I watched this a few weeks ago, and then today I saw the response, which is possibly even more hilarious.

Oooh! ooh! 5-0. Awesome. I want the Senators back.