Sens at Land’s End

On Saturday, the bad hockey team, whose name I will not be using until they earn it back, was on TV playing Pittsburgh. I have never been so totally enraged by them as I was during that game. They ended up winning in overtime but they didn’t deserve it. The only good thing was that Heatley scored two goals after not getting one for a few games. The difference in him after he scored was amazing! He looked like a totally different player — happier, more energetic, and just generally better. It was great to see. He tends to score in bunches, so hopefully today he’ll get a few more (they are playing losing to — DEAR LORD NO NOT AGAIN — the Leafs as I write). He’s at 30 goals now with 20 games left in the season so he’ll need an average of one per game to get the 50. I say he can do it. The team, though, can go away. They are officially out of first place with New Jersey winning yesterday. They had been in first since the beginning of the season. 144 days. And they’ve blown it.

Tomorrow is the trade deadline and I will be interested to see what, if anything, happens. It’s likely that Brian Campbell will be traded from Buffalo. I would love it so much if the team which is the bane of my existence would acquire him. He is my favourite player in the league not currently in a uniform featuring a no doubt evil Roman soldier type guy. I don’t think it’s too likely that they will be able to get him, but you never know.

That stupid, pathetic “hockey” team is now losing 3-0 to a team that is, let’s see, 12 spots behind them in standings. I’ve juuuuust about had it with these guys. I think my new policy should be to expect nothing. Then anything they do produce, if they do come up with something at some point, will be a pleasant surprise.

Oh make that 4-0. Oh good. Trade the whole team! I don’t want them anymore. I’m not even angry now. I can’t be bothered.

To cheer myself up, here is something more ridiculous than the most useless bunch of former hockey players in the world. It might be one of those things everyone has already seen, but in case it isn’t: I’m Fucking Matt Damon. I laughed so hard when I watched this a few weeks ago, and then today I saw the response, which is possibly even more hilarious.

Oooh! ooh! 5-0. Awesome. I want the Senators back.