Sens at Land's End

I woke up this morning to the news that the announcement of a new contract for Daniel Alfredsson was imminent, and a few hours later it happened: Eugene Melnyk, Bryan Murray, and Alfie himself appeared at a press conference in Florida to tell us that Alfie has signed a four-year deal that will probably make him a Senator for life. The deal, which is very frontloaded (he’ll make $9.1 million next season and only $1 million in the final year of the contract), is worth a total of $21.6 million.

Scott Morrison has the cap hit at $4.88 million in his blog at CBC. My best guess as to where he gets that figure is that the $2.1 million Alfie will be paid next year for scrapping the option years on his old deal does not count towards the cap. Maybe someone who knows a little more about the CBA can let us know if that’s true. (Edit: The Globe and Mail’s Eric Duhatschek confirms my assumption.) If Morrison is correct about the cap hit, then I think it’s fair to say that Alfie has given the Sens a pretty nice looking discount. But who would have expected anything else from the captain? I know some alarmist members of the media were speculating that Alfie might actually make it to free agency this summer, but I think Sens fans always knew that was never going to happen. Alfie is, as has often been said, the heart and soul of the team, and it’s a role he obviously takes very seriously. I could never have imagined him going elsewhere and I’m overjoyed that he’s in all likelihood never going to wear another NHL team’s jersey.

I figure this pretty much guarantees Ottawa will have a Cup championship within the next four years, don’t you think? I’m choosing to believe that, anyway.

So, the most important Sens story of the day happened well before the game even started. Unfortunately, they still had to play the Panthers this evening.

Pregame Remarks

Before the game, the commentators on the NHL Network discuss the Sens’ goaltending situation. “We’re not the only ones that think the Senators are a better team with Auld in there, are we?” No, you’re not. Next up: it’s a nauseating retrospective on Ottawa goalies through the years. Wow, I think these guys might be even more inept than I remembered, and I remembered them being pretty darn inept.

Tonight’s lineup is the same one that faced Buffalo on Monday, with one exception: Brian Elliott has been sent back down to Binghamton. Alex Auld is in goal. He is being backed up by an individual whose name I have vowed never to utter in spoken or written form again.

Blogger Fashion Watch: Since it worked out so well on Monday, I have once again not worn red. I do have my Sens earrings on though.

First Period

The Sens have quite a bit of pressure in the Florida zone early in the game, which leads to a couple of golden opportunities — including one where the puck is right in front of Dany Heatley and he just can’t get it — and a Florida penalty six minutes into the period. According to the NHL Network, Florida’s penalty kill is 25th in league. However, the Sens don’t get much going in the first minute of their power play. Or, actually, anything at all. In the second minute, they get … also nothing.

I can hear the sound of Christoph’s Schubert’s skates scraping the ice at one point, and I wonder what the ice quality is like. This building was much, much fuller for Barack Obama’s campaign event yesterday.

Midway through the period, there’s a rinkside interview with Jason Spezza. He says the team trip to Eugene Melnyk’s ranch was “real fun.” The commentators inform us that the team had a softball tournament yesterday, and now some of the players are working on getting a softball team up and running for this summer. Chris Kelly has been named the team manager. How funny would it be to find out that the Sens’ team was playing in your neighbourhood league?

Shean Donovan takes a hooking penalty with 6:51 to go in the period. A minute later, Jason Smith is in the box for, ugh, delay of game, giving the Panthers a minute of five-on-three time. Really, this delay of game crap has got to stop! As they drop the puck for the first faceoff of the five-on-three, I have enough time to think that Smith is not a great puckhandler and then just like that, Florida has a goal on a point shot from Keith Ballard. Rostislav Olesz is screening Alex Auld on the play. Just standing in front of Ottawa’s net, totally unmolested. That must have been nice for him.

With 1:25 to go in the period, Alex Auld comes diving out of the net, apparently to retrieve a puck that was sliding through the Ottawa zone before David Booth could get to it. This is one of those insane plays that makes me wish teams could just use leashes to tie their goalies to the net. Auld almost takes Booth out but he does not get the puck! This is potentially bad news for the Sens, but happily Schubert is there to play makeshift goaltender and nothing horrible comes of it.

First Intermission

The shots are 9-8 for Florida in the period, which seems about right. I thought the Sens started off well but Florida pretty much took over after the Sens’ power play. Our intermission content includes an interview with former Ottawa 67’s player Nick Boynton, as well as a feature called “Jarkko Ruutu Unplugged,” which, haha, is clips of Ruutu miked up during the first game of the season in Sweden, giving his new teammates some insight into his old teammates. Watching Evgeni Malkin go in on goal, Ruutu lets the bench know that Malkin will always shoot. Watching Sidney Crosby carry the puck, Ruutu announces that Crosby will always pass. We then get a brief interview with Eugene Melnyk, who discusses the Alfie signing. “Daniel is the centrepiece of our organization,” he says.

Second Period

The Sens seem to start to getting a few good chances around five or six minutes into the period. At 13:20, Nathan Horton takes a big shot at Auld, but Horton hears a clang as the shot goes off the post.

The big three get a good chance at 11:48 of the period as Jason Spezza steals the puck from Boynton beside Florida’s net and sends it out to Alfie, who is zooming into the slot. Vokoun stops Alfie’s shot and holds on with Heatley standing there waiting for a rebound.

I wonder if Nick Boynton wears number 44 in honour of the fact that Brian Campbell wore it when they were partners on the 67’s. Did you know that Boynton finished the season with a plus/minus of +81 one year with the 67’s? It’s true.

Um … there’s a rinkside interview with Cory Stillman. I liked him with the Sens. The Jarkko Ruutu-Chris Kelly-Chris Neil line seems to be working hard … okay, I was up sort of late last night and well, this game isn’t exactly a thrill a minute so you’ll have to forgive me if I missed some stuff.

Yikes! With about four minutes to go in the period, Heatley runs into Spezza, and we see Spezza grimacing and flexing his hand on the bench. He doesn’t go in for treatment and doesn’t miss any time so I guess he’s alright, but really, Heater, it’d be best if you could avoid taking out your own guys.

A shot of Jacques Martin reminds me of the most boring hockey game I’ve ever attended. Coincidentally, it was between these very teams back when Martin was Ottawa’s coach. Wade Redden lost his helmet during play and then couldn’t get it back on. He went off to defend without it, then came back towards the end of his shift and finally put it back on, and everyone cheered because it was quite literally the most exciting play of the game.

Florida is penalized as Karlis Skrastins takes down Antoine Vermette. The Sens get the first 16 seconds of their power play in the second and will finish it off in the third. Hopefully they can get a goal and you know … not lose.

Second Intermission

I take this opportunity to check in with my fellow Sens bloggers and see what they’ve got to say about Alfie. We are all familiar with the phenomenon that is the Sens’ inability to win without Alfie in the lineup. For a while now, I’ve been concerned about what will happen when he eventually retires. Well, a comment Senators Lost Cojones made over at Hockeyschlock got me thinking, and I believe I’ve come up with a way to prevent the horrible leadership vacuum and onset of total suckiness that will probably occur when Alfie retires. There’s this trilogy of episodes of Farscape where Crichton has to marry a princess on some weird planet, and after they get married they get turned into statues. They are supposed to stay in this state for 80 years, during which time they preside over the planet’s senate. The purpose of this is supposed to be continuity of government: as statues, they can still hear everything that’s going on and even communicate, and they learn everything there is to know about the government this way. So, you see, all we need to do is invent this statuizing tecnology, use it on Alfie when he retires, and then he can lead the team forever. He wouldn’t just be a Senator for life: he’d be a Senator for eternity.

By the way, if you’ve never watched Farscape, you should check it out: it’s amazing.

Statue Crichton, providing government continuity. (Image from FarscapeCaps.com)

Third Period

Ottawa gets some pressure on the power play but nothing comes of it. The commentators say they aren’t shooting enough, and I’m inclined to agree. I have learned over time that, in hockey as in life, you can’t score if you don’t shoot.

Stillman takes a delay of game penalty at 14:42 and finally, the Sens capitalize as Heatley puts a crazy seeing eye shot between Tomas Vokoun and his goalpost and it’s 1-1. How the heck does Heatley do that? I’d love to know, but I bet he could never explain it.

Uh oh, Mike Fisher takes a hooking penalty about 40 seconds after Heatley’s goal. Florida’s power play is apparently 30th in the league: basically, they’re good five-on-five but their special teams suck, which makes them the Sens’ shadow selves or something. The Sens are able to kill the penalty. A brief note on Fisher: he looked good on Monday but I can’t say that I’ve noticed him much tonight.

At 9:40, the Ruutu-Kelly-Neil line is back on the ice doing some very good work indeed in the Florida zone. Neil tries the wraparound on Vokoun. The puck ends up loose in the crease with Ruutu and Kelly both in front of the net hoping to pick up a rebound. Kelly is eventually able to put the puck under Vokoun, and it’s 2-1 Sens. Good job!

During the next few minutes, Florida has trouble getting any kind of offense going as the Sens are doing an excellent job of stopping them in the neutral zone. The Panthers shoot themselves in the foot a little at 3:13 when Booth is called for highsticking Alexandre Picard. For 1:47 straight of the ensuing power play, the Sens are in the Panthers’ zone. They don’t get many good chances, but the pressure they have is very impressive.

Vokoun is out of his net with 50 seconds to go. The Panthers are buzzing in the Sens’ zone but they do not score and the Sens hang on to win the game 2-1. This is two wins in a row now! It’s their first winning streak of the season! Isn’t that both awesome and kind of sad?

Postgame Thoughts

The bulk of this game could not really be called exciting, but to my mind it was the best third period the the Sens have played in a while and probably the most solid we’ve seen them when playing with a lead (though, admittedly, they didn’t have to hold the lead for very long). They still took a couple of dumb and inopportune penalties; however, they kept the number low — only three penalties on the night (and Schubert has now gone two games in a row without ending up in the box). Meanwhile, Alex Auld continues to look solid in goal. Overall, I feel pleased. Well played, Sens. Well played.

A few random tidbits for the day:

Please, Just Shut Up. Those bloody Spezza trade rumours are surfacing again for some reason, and this time they seem to be tied to the Nikolai Khabibulin to Ottawa rumours that just won’t go away. A report from Chicago has it that the Blackhawks may be interested in Spezza, while HockeyBuzz’s Eklund is saying that the Sens will send Spezza to Calgary to clear cap space for Khabibulin. Which makes total sense, because obviously Bryan Murray would want to trade the guy who has probably been Ottawa’s best player this season so far, who is only 25 years old, who finished eighth in the league in scoring last season despite missing six games, and who is signed long-term for what seems like a pretty reasonable cap hit of $7 million, to make room on the payroll for a 35-year-old, injury prone goalie whose $6.75 million deal expires at the end of this season. Right. Did Murray sustain a head injury I don’t know about? I guess the nice thing about Eklund reporting all this is that it means it will definitely never come to pass.

Prepare to Die! There was an exciting post-game altercation in Buffalo last night, which involved Adam Mair trying to charge into the Sens’ locker room in order to do violence to Chris Neil. Apparently, he grabbed Jarkko Ruutu but was sent on his way by locker room defender Luke Richardson, who calmly tried to explain that what happens on the ice should stay on the ice. (In case you missed it, someone has conveniently uploaded it to YouTube. Ruutu’s interview about it is here.) According to the Sun, the NHL is reviewing the incident. So. A couple of fights, lots of personal insults, plenty of hate … pretty much par for the course for a Sens-Sabres game.

Senator vs. Senators. Bad news for the Sens as Barack Obama has forced them to move their practice tomorrow in a blatant attempt to woo the all-important Florida Panthers fan vote by sabotaging their opponent. But has he shot himself in the foot with Lightning supporters?

Greatness By Association. In blog news, I am happy to announce that Sens at Land’s End is soon to become part of that excellent organization known as HLOG: Hockey’s Ladies of Greatness! I read and enjoy many HLOG blogs, and am very excited to be joining such an illustrious group of hockey bloggers, including fellow Sens blogger Sherry of Scarlett Ice. I just want to thank the ladies for this opportunity, and I will do my best to bring honour to the HLOG name.

Since Saturday’s loss, I’ve been feeling a bit hostile towards the Sens. This weekend was just not cool. I will put up with a lot, but back to back poorly-played games resulting in losses to Anaheim and Toronto is apparently past my limit. I was so annoyed that I didn’t even wear red today. Normally I always wear red on gameday, but this morning I thought: screw it, they don’t deserve it. They clearly don’t care about me enough to make any special effort to spare me pain, so why should I make a special effort to be supportive of them? It would be pathetic of me to do so, really, when they treat me so poorly. But then, when I was putting on my jewellery I saw my Sens logo earrings sitting there and … I caved. I wanted to do the tough love thing, but in the end I couldn’t abandon them completely.

My relationship with this team is very complex.

Pregame Remarks

The NHL Network commentators introduce this game by noting that it’s a matchup of the second best team in the NHL (Buffalo, undefeated in regulation so far) against the second worst team in the NHL (that would be our Senators), and that the Sens are off to the worst start they’ve had in 13 years. Well, I sure feel pumped up for this one now!

Again, we have new line combinations: tonight, it’s Heatzza with Antoine Vermette, while Alfie finds himself on the second line with Mike Fisher and Nick Foligno, which actually sounds like a promising combination to me; however, I have little faith that I’ll see it beyond the first period. Other lineup notes: the Sabres have elected to start the Sens’ old buddy Patrick Lalime instead of Ryan Miller, while Alex Auld is in net once again for the Sens with Brian Elliott backing him up. Christoph Schubert is back in on defense; Luke Richardson is the scratch.

First Period Notes

For a period of two or three minutes, the commentators go wild with praise for Jason Spezza. He’s “oozing skill,” they say, and making “all-star passes.” It’s pretty nice to hear TV guys talking about Spezza’s multitudinous good qualities for a change, instead of honing in on his one bad habit, and talking about it endlessly, and picking away at him until you’d almost think he’s about on par with Donald Brashear in terms of talent and lucky to be in the NHL at all.

Apparently, the team will be going to visit owner Eugene Melnyk at his ranch in Florida tomorrow, and the commentators joke that the players could be made to clean Melnyk’s barn if they don’t win tonight. Melnyk has a barn? I thought he was more a beach house kind of guy. Then again, he is in pharmaceuticals. Get it? Pharmaceuticals. Ha! Ha ha … ha. *cough*

The first period is one of missed opportunities for the Sens, who have a few of what look like sure-fire goals fail to find the net, including a loose puck just outside the Sabres’ crease that no one can quite get to and a Dany Heatley deflection of a Filip Kuba shot that hits the post on a late power play.

But then, a miracle happens at 18:06, when Jaroslav Spacek tries to clear a puck from behind the net. The puck ends up in the slot on the stick of a wide open Christoph Schubert, who scores! The Sens! Score!! First!!!! They have the lead! I know it’s hard to believe! But it really did happen! Of course, I am quite sure the Sabres will follow this with five unanswered goals.

With a little more than a minute left in the period, there’s a scrum near the Ottawa net when Maxim Afinogenov takes a shot on Auld after the whistle and the entire Sens team, led by Jason Smith, jumps him. When the dust clears, the Sabres are shorthanded: Afinogenov has been given two for unsportsmanlike conduct, apparently as a punishment for the initial late shot that started the whole thing. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen that called before but I’m not complaining.

The shots are 11-8 for Ottawa after the first. And the Sens have actually managed to come out of the period with a lead. Praise the hockey gods!

Second Period Notes

Nineteen seconds in, I get to shout something I haven’t shouted in a while: HEATER GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!! It’s a little bit of that old Heatzza magic as Heatley gets one off a setup by Spezza from behind the net. Maybe this is a good sign. The commentators are now giving Heatley his turn on the wheel of praise. “He’s a hockey-playing machine!” they declare. He certainly looks much less depressed now that he’s got a goal.

A couple of minutes later, the Sens are called for too many men. I read Craig Hartsburg’s lips during a shot of the bench and make out something that looks like “mucking bull pits,” which is no doubt a reference to the punishment that awaits the players tomorrow if they don’t shape up. Spezza serves the penalty, which seems like an odd move at first. When he comes out of the box, takes a pass from Vermette, beats two Buffalo defenders, outwaits Lalime, and then scores a goal, however, it starts to look like a positively brilliant strategy. 3-0 Sens at 4:48 of the second.

Scary moment for Ottawa when Alfie falls awkwardly after Ales Kotalik gets a stick between the captain’s legs. He grimaces as he gets up, but seems to be okay. With four minutes left in the period, Mike Weber hits Alfie with a hip check. Alfie goes down, and Mike Fisher is in there beating the living crap out of Weber before you can shout “unacceptable!” It’s good to see Fisher playing like a wildman again, and even better to see the Sens standing up for each other. Best of all, Alfie is uninjured and, as a nice treat for Sens fans, Weber gets the extra two for tripping.

A few minutes later, Alfie sets up Heatley, whose shot results in a rebound which Spezza converts for his second goal of the game. Unbelievably, it’s 4-0 Sens after two, the Sens have outshot Buffalo 14-7 in the second, and the Sabres are booed off the ice by their fans. This is bizarre, yet wonderful. I had so little faith that the Sens would even score a goal tonight that I actually benched Spezza in one of my pools.

… doh.

Third Period Notes

Shean Donovan, Offensive Dynamo, strikes again at 5:50, and it’s 5-0 for Ottawa. Woot!

The game gets its second fight as Chris Neil throws down with Andrew Peters. I’m chatting with some non hockey fan friends at this point, and one of them asks me if fighting is the best part of hockey. No, it’s totally not, but it is a nice occasional bonus. Neil and Peters are off to the box, and somehow Jason Smith gets a 10-minute misconduct out of all this hullabaloo too.

At 12:57, Heatley gets a tripping penalty. He protests to the referee that the other guy got him first, and he’s doing that thing hockey players always do where they compulsively check their faces for blood. That always makes me laugh. It’s less funny five seconds later when Anton Volchenkov is called for delay of game, and the Sabres now have 1:55 of five-on-three time. But then there’s a shot of Neil, Heatley, Volchenkov, and Smith all looking annoyed in the sin bin together, and that gets me laughing again.

What follows is a truly epic adventure in penalty killing: Alfie breaks his stick but is able to retrieve another one at a stoppage, but then, ridiculously, Fisher breaks his stick too, and he suddenly seems to be everywhere! He’s blocking a shot! He’s sprawling on the ice to block another! He’s wildly waving his arms, trying to stop the puck with his bare hands! It’s incredible! The Sens are 20 seconds away from killing the entire five-on-three when, sadly, the Sabres score. But it was an amazing effort all around from the penalty killers.

With a little less than two minutes left in the game, Patrick Kaleta and Jarkko Ruutu drop to the ice after a very brief skirmish following a Ruutu hit on Kaleta. Ruutu sits on Kaleta for a while, then gets an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty.

The Sabres score again on the ensuing power play with 32 seconds left in the game. The final score is 5-2 for Ottawa, and the commentators figure this means Eugene Melnyk will probably not make them muck out the stable tomorrow. “They’ll get pudding even if they don’t eat all their meat,” they say. “They’ve been good boys.”

Postgame Thoughts

Hartsburg seemed to leave the game with the line combinations he came with, and that makes me happy. I’ve been hoping we’d get to see a non-big three scenario get a full 60 minutes to click.

The final shot count for the game was 28-27 for Ottawa. After two, it was 25-15. In the third, it was 3-12. I’m not sure I consider this a full 60-minute effort. While I like seeing the players stick up for each other and I’m not averse to a little bit of violence, I’d like to see the team cut down on the number of hooking, holding, and delay of game/too many men/other useless penalties they’re taking. They need to lower the amount of time they’re spending shorthanded — Buffalo had 17:09 of power play time. That seems like a recipe for disaster. On that note, kudos to Christoph Schubert for making it through an entire game without taking a dumbass penalty for the first time in as long as I can remember.

Overall, they did well. I would probably also give them dinner if they came to my house tomorrow. If they keep it up for a few games we can think about dessert.

Another in-game post for you so you can continue to witness a hockey fan being slowly driven insane by her team.

Pregame Remarks

Tuning in to the pre-game show on CBC, I hear Ron MacLean say that the Sens and Leafs will not be on the main network in BC because the Ducks (who are playing the Habs) are a western team and more “familiar” to audiences out here or some such nonsense. (This doesn’t make any sense to me, because last year the CBC pre-empted a Sens-Coyotes game in BC in favour of the Leafs, when the Canucks’ playoff hopes were directly affected by the Coyotes’ results.) If this had happened last year I would have been enraged. Happily, I now have Centre Ice and am not dependent on these assclowns for my Sens coverage anymore.

Thanks to a fortuitous leg injury to a certain individual, Alex Auld is in for the Sens today, as is Brian Elliott, who has been called up from the B-Sens to serve as backup. This is good news — in fact, it’s the kind of news that made me want to laugh and dance and celebrate the feeling that a gigantic weight had been lifted off my shoulders — but I still have absolutely no idea what to expect from the game today. It could go scoreless to the shootout or be a blowout for either team and I wouldn’t be surprised.

The CBC informs us that Dany Heatley has been “on a tear” with nine points on the season. That’s a bit of an overstatement. It seems Heatley and Jason Spezza will be reunited tonight — Heatzza once more! — and Alfie is with Mike Fisher. I feel these combinations are more natural than the other way.

First Period

20:00: I see that Nick Foligno is the third member of the Alfie and Fisher line. I like it. Jesse Winchester will be with Heatzza. Heatzzachester.

19:01: Fight! Fight! Luke “The Magnificent” Schenn is taking on Chris Neil. This seems to have started after Neil tried to take out Matt Stajan, though it doesn’t look to me like Neil really even touched Stajan, and in fact Stajan fell trying to run away from Neil. There is no clear victor in the fight as far as I can tell. I know I shouldn’t like Leafs players, but I can’t help it: I really like Luke Schenn.

16:06: There’s a scramble at Auld’s net, but the Leafs do not score. Yay!

14:35: Jason Smith catches the puck, but unlike yesterday he manages to put it down and play it without it somehow ending up in the Sens’ net. Double yay!

13:29: Anton Volchenkov is called for interference.

12:10 or so: Dean McAmmond gets a nice shorthanded chance after the Leafs turn the puck over to Jarkko Ruutu. Apparently, Toronto has not had a shot on this power play, and the Sens’ penalty kill continues to put up strong numbers. Shots, however, are 7-2 Leafs overall. That’s not good.

10:06: I now see a line of Fisher, Winch, and Nick Foligno. Let’s see … the missing person in this situation is Alfie, which must mean … oh, come on. *headdesk*

8:37: I see Spezza on the ice, and a moment later the first big three sighting is confirmed. Right away they get a wicked scoring chance as Heater feeds the puck out to Alfie, who is right in front of the net. But Alfie then takes penalty about 20 seconds later.

7:00: Mikhail Grabovski goes in on a breakaway and hits the crossbar! Auld loses the puck! The PK looks somewhat less impressive just there.

6:23: Another penalty, this one to Jason Smith. I see how it is today. The Leafs get three seconds of 5-on-3 time.

5:46: After a big scramble which saw at least six players jammed in front of Auld’s net, the Leafs score and the Sens have given up the first goal yet again. I wonder what it’s like to have a lead.

3:00 or so: Ottawa’s fourth line of Ruutu, McAmmond, and Shean Donovan has a really good shift in the Leafs’ zone. I think to myself that those guys should get more icetime. The big three are sent in to follow up this shift and hopefully pick up on its momentum; however, they manage to do very little.

1:20: Heatley goes digging for the puck behind the Leafs’ net and comes out with a wraparound attempt but does not score. He looks rather discouraged. The Sens have at least managed to draw a penalty with this spurt of play in the Toronto zone.

0:12: A failed pass from Heatley to Picard. Argh. The power play will continue for the first 46 seconds of the second period.

First Intermission

Well, that was not very successful. Shots were 19-9 for Toronto, and were 18-4 at one point before the Sens had that last flurry in the Leafs’ end. Now here’s Don Cherry to talk about our troops. He’s wearing a truly stunning lavender suit to match his Hockey Fights Cancer tie this evening and gives Chris Neil props for fighting George Parros the other night.

Second Period

19:08: After the Sens manage no pressure at all on the remainder of their power play, Anton Stralman comes out of the box and streaks in on goal. He does not score.

17:45: Grabovski, however, does score, with a shot to the top corner. I guess I should have gone to the liquor store today.

15:54: Wow, we scored a goal! Shean Donovan gets one: a reward for some good work today. If I’m not mistaken, Donovan has now scored on two of three shots he’s taken this season, yet he’s averaging somewhere around six minutes of icetime per game. I’d like to know what he has to do to get more.

15:18: Now we’re back in the Ottawa zone and Anton Volchenkov gets a penalty. I think to myself that this would be a really bad time for another Leafs goal.

14:33: But Auld keeps his leg down on the ice to prevent the Leafs from poking a puck in. Phew.

13:51: Greg Millen keeps talking about how a Leafs player was missing his hockey stick on the Sens goal. It seems important to him to specify that the stick in question was indeed a hockey stick, and not some other random kind of stick.

13:00: Auld stops the hockey puck on a scary-looking wraparound attempt by Nikolai Kulemin.

11:44: The Leafs are looking dangerous again. “They’re all over Ottawa,” says Bob Cole. They sure are, Bob. It’s really not good, from my perspective anyway, though I suppose Bob feels okay about it.

10:00: At the halfway point in this game, the shots are 31-12 for Toronto. There’s no way the Sens deserve to be within a goal here.

8:16: Spezza passes to no one. No one! That? That was not creative. That was just dumb.

6:49: Winch, Foligno, and Antoine Vermette have the puck right in front of the Leafs’ net. They get a good opportunity but no one is able to poke it in.

6:05: There is massive booing taking place at the ACC, but I have no clue what’s causing it. Alfie probably gave Schenn a funny look or something.

5:15: The Leafs’ net has come off its moorings. Vesa Toskala lies motionless on the ice, possibly dead. What a blow for the Leafs! Meanwhile, I am developing a case of heartburn. Has it been caused by the Sens’ atrocious play or the excessive amount of onion I put in my dinner? I have no way of knowing. After the TV time out, the CBC reveals the cause of the earlier ACC booing: Jamal Mayers dropped the gloves to try to get Chris Neil to fight for no reason, but Neil refused. Neil has now been given a 10 minute misconduct, while Mayers has been given … nothing? Okay.

5:04: Dominic Moore is called for holding Alfie. On the ensuing Sens power play, Toskala makes a save. I guess he’s not dead after all.

4:32: Spezza attempts to skate through 3 Leafs players and loses control of the puck, but the Sens get the power play set up anyway. There’s lots of passing, and then a good looking chance when Kuba throws the puck to the net for Alfie and Heatley to jam at. No results.

3:22: The Leafs get a shorthanded two on one after the puck bounces off Filip Kuba’s skate, but Foligno gets back to break up the play. Kuba seemed to be on the ice for the entire power play.

1:08: An interference call on Christoph Schubert, back in the lineup tonight after being a healthy scratch for the last two games. Now that he’s back, I remember why I’m so annoyed by him.

Second Intermission

The shots in the second were 12-4 for the Leafs, and are now 33-13 overall. The CBC presents an interview with Alfie, who says that the team’s play with the puck has not been good. The subject of his contract talks comes up, and he says he’s confident things will work out: “I’d love to finish my career in Ottawa, and I don’t see anything else happening.” Well, there’s your good news for the day. On the Hot Stove, Pierre LeBrun tells us that the International Olympic Committee is trying to prevent Team Canada from using the maple leaf logo on their jerseys due to licensing concerns! Good lord! Al Strachan says the  over/under on Barry Melrose’s firing is November 15 and the commentators laugh merrily. Haha, Tampa Bay is imploding, and the Hot Stove finds this hilarious. But who could ever have seen it coming?

Third Period

18:40: La la la … nothing is happening. Oh, now we see why Neil got his misconduct penalty: it seems he was taunting Toronto’s Ryan Hollweg over his recent suspension for excessive hitting from behind, turning to face the boards and inviting Hollweg to hit him. Seriously? You can get a misconduct for that? What kind of world is it when you can’t mock assholes for their misdeeds? I ask you.

18:31: Heater gets a decent shot off but Toskala makes the save. We see Leafs assistant coach Tim Hunter on the bench, and I wonder if he’s ever read Neil Gaiman’s The Books of Magic. Probably not.

17:56: Donovan is on the offensive again. He gets a shot away, but Toskala is there for the save. That takes his shooting percentage back down to 50. Unfazed, Donovan then skates like the wind to beat out an icing call. It would be really good, I think, if he got more icetime. During a stoppage, the CBC shows a graphic illustrating the Sens’ abysmal record since the second half of last season. So that’s why it feels like they’ve been losing so much: they have been!

15:00 or so: During a stoppage, Greg and Bob mention that with his assist today, Kuba has assists in all eight of the Sens’ games so far this season. That is a new NHL record for most consecutive games with an assist to start a season by a defenseman. This seems like a fairly obscure record, but hey, go Kuba.

13:14: Smith shoots and Neil very nearly puts in the rebound — it’s on its way into the net, but the famous Jeff Finger gets a stick on it and clears it out of the crease.

12:36: Toronto’s Nik Antropov goes in on a one on three, I think. He still gets a shot off, but Auld stops it. Antropov is pretty hot. The Sens, on the other hand, are all looking extremely unattractive right now.

8:38: Is there still a game on? I blacked out after bashing my head on my keyboard repeatedly.

8:13: Greg says Spezza may be lacking confidence right now. I wonder if that could have anything to do with the media people and fans who went on and on for like a week about that turnover he made in overtime in the first game against Pittsburgh in Sweden.

7:00: Jason Blake goes in on a breakaway. Oh no! But Alexandre Picard stops him with a GREAT pokecheck.

6:40: … aaaaaaaaand just as Bob says maybe the Sens will get some life from that play, Heatley loses the puck at the Leafs’ blueline. The Leafs recover the puck …

6:23: … and Alexei Ponikarovsky scores on a rebound, after Picard, the hero of 40 seconds ago, fails to cover him. From the sublime to the ridiculous.

6:02: Donovan is in front of the Leafs’ net, and he very nearly scores again. Again, can he please have more icetime?

5:36: After a TV time out, the CBC gives us an out of town score. I must really hate Montreal because I’m actually a little glad they’re losing 6-3 to Anaheim. And we all know how much I hate Anaheim.

4:34: You know how in football they don’t really play the last couple of minutes sometimes? They should just do that now too. Speaking of football, I’ve adopted the New York Giants as my team but they’re playing the Steelers tomorrow, and the Steelers are my other team. I’m so conflicted! Oh hang on, there’s still a hockey game going here.

3:02: Well … nothing is happening.

2:33: Blake is going in on a breakaway again but a penalty has been called on the Sens: Chris Phillips goes off for hooking.

2:08: It’s going to be a tough row to hoe for Ottawa, says Bob. It’s okay, I don’t think they’re in a hoeing mood anyway.

0:48: Dean McAmmond scores a shorthanded goal. It goes in off Mike Van Ryn’s stick. Rough week for Van Ryn: this was him. Anyway, this was a nice play by McAmmond and that’s great, but really — whoop de frickin’ doo.

0:25: The big three are called offside. Bob keeps saying “Look out, folks!” but I’m not sure why. Ottawa takes its time out. McAmmond is on the ice with the big three and Kuba to end the game. Clearly, McAmmond and Kuba deserve to be there, but why the other three? With the net empty, Picard is the extra man. He makes a diving play to keep the puck on-side. The puck gets to the net and there’s a scramble and a bit of a scrum, involving … Spezza? Spezza and Schenn. Weird.

0:15: Heatley gets a point blank shot on Toskala with seconds to go but does not score. Game over.

Postgame Thoughts

The final shot count was 38-24 for Toronto (apparently, the Sens had 11 in the third period, or possibly they bribed an official) and I don’t even know that that accurately reflects the crappiness of the effort put forth by the Sens tonight. The only players exempted from my wrath are the guys on the fourth line, who played really well, and maybe Filip Kuba. Losing to Anaheim sucks. Losing to Toronto is absolutely humiliating. Losing to Anaheim and Toronto on back-to-back nights? That’s just cruel. Sometimes I wonder why the Sens hate their fans so much.

Anyway … whatever. Monday: Buffalo. The Sabres are, naturally, undefeated so far this season. That sounds promising.

Welcome to Sens at Land’s End’s first ever In-Game Post! Enjoy.

Pregame Remarks

Sens vs. Ducks. The second annual 07 Stanley Cup rematch. Two teams who are … struggling, shall we say, and find themselves in the bottom fifth of the standings. Should be a good one! During the game intro, Dean Brown points out that the Ducks must be very frustrated due to their terrible start to the season (they are 2-5-0). Angry Ducks … well, there’s no way that could possibly end badly.

Christoph Schubert is once again a healthy scratch for the Sens. Could we just trade him already?

Sportsnet treats me to that “Is This the Year?” ad with Sidney Crosby telling us he never wants to be in that photo again. Is it just me or are these ads a bit on the lame side? I read all this stuff about the fabulous new ad campaign the NHL had coming up and I am sorely disappointed. I much prefer the funny ads, like this one. Because who doesn’t want to see Dany Heatley in a mud mask? No one, that’s who.

First Period

18:38: Well, we’re over a minute in and the Ducks have yet to score. Call it a plus. During a stoppage, Gary Galley tells us about something Pat Burns used to say: fiddlers fiddle and dancers dance. I see what he means, but I wonder how it would apply to Vernon Fiddler.

17:09: That jaunty diagonal stripe on the Ducks’ jerseys makes them look rather dressed up. It’s totally inappropriate for a team of their character. Still thinking about the fiddlers fiddle thing, I consider the fact that George Parros is one of the Ducks’ biggest offensive threats so far this season, which makes him pretty much a failure in Pat Burns’ terms.

16:34: One of Sportsnet’s Keys to the Game for Ottawa is that the Sens must “look adversity in the eye,” by which they mean the team needs to learn to go on after something bad happens to them, instead of panicking every time they allow a goal. So far this season they’ve been working the Xander Harris approach: “I laugh in the face of danger! Then I hide until it goes away.”

16:06: The Ducks are called for delay of game. Randy Carlyle seems perhaps unreasonably enraged on the bench.

15:40 or so: Dany Heatley ducks to avoid a high shot from one of his teammates and Dean says something that sounds like the puck has chiclets on it? I don’t know. But anyway, the last thing Heatley needs is more lost chiclets. For the first 90 seconds of the power play, the Sens have good pressure and the Ducks do not manage to clear their zone. This is the kind of power play that gives me heart attacks when the Sens’ opponents do it.

13:38: Auld makes a save! Almost 7 minutes gone and no goals against. I’m feeling good. After a TV time out, we see Heatley and Mike Fisher performing one of their fantastic synchronized spitting routines on the bench. I notice that Heatley has his tooth in tonight. Off the faceoff, Chris Neil fights Parros! Neil gets the takedown, and the Ottawa bench taps their sticks in appreciation.

12:57: The crowd at Scotiabank Place is booing Chris Pronger when he touches the puck. Ha ha, oh Pronger. You are a terrible person.

11:50: Dean argues that despite the Ducks’ slow start, no one thinks they’ve lost their game. We do, however, pray to the hockey gods for that to be the case.

10:49: That little piece of crap Corey Perry tries to hit Anton Volchenkov behind the Ottawa net, but Perry takes the worst of it and goes flying. Volchenkov, being invincible, emerges unscathed.

10:29: As the boos for Pronger start up again, Dean argues that you’d like him on your team and then starts pontificating about how many of the best players of all time have been very dirty players. That’s great, Dean, but I still would never want Pronger on or even in the same room as my team. Do you hear that, Steve Yzerman? Do you?

9:28: Alexandre Picard and his terrible, Crosby-esque moustache do nothing to stop Anaheim’s Brian Sutherby from poking home a rebound and it’s 1-0 Anaheim. Doh!

8:46: Sportsnet conducts an in-game interview with Fisher, who calls the goal “unfortunate.” “Held scoreless in 7 games,” reads the caption under Fisher’s name. Now that’s unfortunate.

8:00: Volchenkov carries the puck to the Anaheim net, then gets off a pass to Heater, who shoots but misses. Is it possible the A-Train is going to provide some offense from the blueline this season? I’m going to say yes, because I don’t feel there is any limit to his supply of awesome.

6:25: The puck goes right through Auld’s crease, and then there is a terrible scramble in front of the Sens’ net! On and on it goes until the net comes off its moorings and the whistle is mercifully blown. Auld is on his stomach in the crease. Yikes. Upon seeing the overhead angle, I don’t believe Auld had a clue where the puck was during most of that sequence. The officials go upstairs to make sure the puck didn’t go in. There is no goal, and the SBP crew plays Gwen Stefani’s “The Sweet Escape” to celebrate. That seems appropriate.

6:15 or so: Gary opines that the team is not looking adversity in the face.

5:27: Jason Spezza steals from Niedermayer behind the Ducks’ net. Good job Spezza! Eventually, Nick Foligno gets a pretty good shot away, but the Sens fail to score.

4:32: Alfie takes Pronger into the boards, which gets a big cheer from the crowd, and me, even though I’m alone in my apartment. Pronger, sportsmanlike person that he is, slashes at Alfie’s legs as Alfie skates away.

First Intermission

Well, I don’t feel too bad about that. Sure, we are down 1-0, but NHL.com has the shots at 11-11 and I felt like there were more panicky moments for the Ducks than the Sens.

Sportsnet gives us a weird random shot of Luke Richardson looking right at the camera between commercials. Thank you Sportsnet. They then actually speak to Richardson, who feels that the Sens struggled after the goal but got it together towards the end of the period. I agree.

I go to prepare my dinner and manage to cut my thumb while opening a package of feta cheese. Excellent. I spend the next few minutes trying not to bleed on my Spezza jersey.

This feature on Alfie’s family is adorable. I awwww over the childhood photos of the captain and Hasse Alfredsson’s stories of his eldest son protecting his sister from bullies. I love Alfie, and I love his parents. I want to be an Alfredsson!

Here’s a Home Hardware ad plugging some tool that’s meant to help you open packages safely. I wish I’d had one of those a few minutes ago.

Second Period

19:10: … and the Ducks score. Wait, what? What just happened? I didn’t see it at all. The replay shows that Todd Marchant somehow batted the puck out of Jason Smith’s hand and it floated into the Sens’ net. I believe that may be the flukiest goal I’ve ever seen. Awesome.

18:27: The Sens go to the power play as Anaheim is called for hooking.

17:36: Heatley makes a rather Spezza-esque play, attempting to carry the puck over the blueline past three Ducks. Lots of giveaways here. The first 45 seconds of the power play looked okay, but the next 30 were not so good.

15:55: Ottawa is called for too many men on the ice. On the bench, Craig Hartsburg has totally hulked out with rage.

14:00: Auld has had a sequence of about three good saves. He’s playing well.

13:00 or so: What’s this I see? Alfredsson, Spezza, and Heatley: together again. Shocking.

12:15: Almost every player on the ice, including the big three, is jammed in a big crowd right in front of the Sens’ net, and somehow the Ducks end up scoring again. Pahlsson should go away. I am now 100% sure this game is over.

9:25: There’s a scrum behind the net as the Sens react to the Ducks whacking away at a puck Alex Auld has frozen. I hate it when teams do that.

9:03: 4-0. The Ducks get a power play goal on a pass to Ryan Getzlaf by poopyhead Perry from behind the net. I yell obscenities at my TV. It’s Getzlaf’s first goal of the season. A few minutes later Sportsnet does an in-game interview with Getzlaf and he says he’s back. Bully for him. I developed some good feelings towards Getzlaf during the World Championships this year but right now I’m not liking him so much.

7:46: Ottawa gets a power play. Gary says the Sens need something good to happen. Thanks, Captain Obvious.

7:34: OH! Heatley takes a point blank shot from right outside the crease but is absolutely STONED by Hiller and then can’t get a stick on the rebound. Heatley appears to be in the thick of one of those slumps he sometimes goes through where he couldn’t even buy a goal. Poor guy. The Sens get some pretty good shots on the power play but no dice.

5:27: Jesse Winchester, aka Winch (that’s what I call him in my head), is really, really good along the boards. It’s his wheelhouse.

3:53: Another power play for Ottawa. Carlyle looks completely not worried. I’m not sure I can even express how much I despise the Ducks.

3:14: The Ducks give the puck away to Heater right in front of the net. He gets a backhand away and all three of Ottawa’s big guns are in there jamming away at the puck, but no goal. Sigh.

2:33: Heatley is looking frustrated on the bench. He watches what I assume is the big screen replay of that last sequence, and looks totally confused about how that puck managed not to go in.

1:25: There’s old Winch taking a lickin’ along the boards, and he still gets the puck.

0:02: The Sens get another power play. They make it through one faceoff and then it’s intermission time. Could that possibly have gone much worse for the Sens? My outlook is substantially less rosy now than it was at the end of the first.

Second Intermission Train of Thought

As much as I don’t like Teemu Selanne, I have to say that he is an extremely good looking man. That is annoying, because I don’t like having positive thoughts about Ducks … Rob Faulds will always be a figure skating commentator to me … Blah blah blah, Joe Thornton, random hockey talk. I half listen, but mostly I’m wondering why I don’t have any alcohol in my place. I contemplate hurling myself off the conveniently-placed cliff across the street but opt for a chocolate bar instead. Maybe I’ll revisit the cliff idea if we lose tomorrow.

Third Period

18:50: The Sens have absolutely nothing going on the power play.

18:06: Antoine Vermette is called for slashing Pronger. That’s nice and all, but oh yay, we’re shorthanded.

17:06: Well, at least the Ducks have nothing going on their power play either.

14:58: Another Sens power play. Niedermayer is in the box.

13:25: And another Ducks penalty. Ottawa now has 27 seconds of 5-on-3 time, which means they’re guaranteed not to score for at least the next 27 seconds. Alfie, Spezza, Heatley, Fisher, and Filip Kuba are the power play unit.

13:13: Hey, Alfie actually scores! How dare I doubt the 5-on-3? (Years of experience, that’s how.) Quick passing from Heatley to Kuba to Alfie, who gets a quick shot from the high slot. Well, at least we’re not going to be shut out.

12:36: Still on the power play, Picard takes a high shot that beats Hiller and it’s 4-2! Good lord! Heatley made a nice play to get the puck back to Kuba at the point as he fell down, and Heatley and Kuba have each assisted on both Ottawa goals.

12:20: The crowd is now loud. I’m feeling reinvigorated myself.

9:46: Spezza loses the puck at blueline, and I think I actually hear booing. Come on now.

9:12: Spezza passes from behind the net to Neil, who is alone in the slot. Neil shoots, and he scores! And we’re within 1! That is Heatley’s third assist of the game, which earns him some praise from Dean and Gary, as well as a mental pat on the head from me.

8:08: I ponder the emotional rollercoaster that is the hockey season. There must be something wrong with me, getting so involved in all this. I hope I’m not mentally deranged. I also hope Auld remains sharp for the rest of the period and manages not to let in any totally deflating soft goals.

7:14: Auld makes a save. Go Auld!

6:21: Instead of yelling at the Sens, I’m now whispering sweet motivational words to them. You can do eeet! Cut their &%@$ing heads off!

5:54: Auld holds on to a puck and another Duck tries to bash it out from under his glove. Now there’s a scrum with Jason Smith and the big three in the middle of it. We’re sticking together! And we all frickin’ hate the Ducks. I feel antsy. Maybe it’s all the sugar and caffeine, as my stress has caused me to devour my whole chocolate bar.

0:49: Auld is out for the extra man.

0:21: Offside against the Sens. This is not looking good. Ottawa takes its time out. Dramatic music plays.

0:00: So much for that.

Postgame Thoughts

I don’t feel like the Sens played that badly tonight. They had some absolutely terrible luck and then they … uh … okay, fine: they failed to look adversity in the face. I still hate losing to Anaheim, but overall this could have been a lot worse. Like 4-0, for example or — even worse — it could have ended up 5-3.

Next up: Toronto. Please, no losing. Please.