Sens at Land’s End

Jason Spezza and Dany Heatley, back when they were allowed on the ice together.

In the wake of the news that Craig Hartsburg, unhappy with the effort he saw from his team on Saturday against Boston (and who can blame him?), has decided to go boldly where no Sens coach has gone before (except because of injury) and split up the beloved and often dazzling twosome of offensive greatness known to me as Heatzza, I found myself wondering how the main players in this whole forced breakup saga were reacting. Was Spezza locked in his video game room refusing to talk to anyone? Was Heatley huddled in a corner crying? I was concerned. Luckily, I obtained* this email exchange between the two players, which gives us some insight into their mental state.

Dear Heater,

Ever since Coach said we can’t play together anymore, I’ve been feeling a little down. My new linemates are Nicky Foligno and Jesse Winchester. I don’t know. They’re cool guys and everything but I’m just not sure they have what it takes to work with my Spezzial passes (haha). I’m inviting them over to play on the Wii later and I’ll try to give them some tips. I don’t want to make them feel bad about being less skilled than me or anything, but I think I should probably prep them a little.

I just don’t understand why we have to be split up! I know Coach said he’s trying to get guys out of their comfort zone, but it’s not like we’re so comfortable that we don’t try, is it? I think we’ve been playing pretty well. Maybe I’m not a very good judge. I told the media I didn’t think it mattered if we played together or not, and I hoped this experiment would work out for the team, but it wasn’t true. I hope it fails and they put us back together in, like, the second period tomorrow (and you know they probably will if we’re losing anyway).

You are my favourite linemate ever. You are the wind beneath my wings, like that song says, except you’re not beneath my wing. You are my wing, literally — I’m your centre and you’re my winger. It’s like fate. Also, I’m worried about how this will affect you. You might not get your 50 this year without me setting you up. You should really get the 50. I know how much it means to you.

Well … I guess I’ll see you in the locker room, if not on the bench. Though I guess I’ll still see you on the ice on power plays! Hopefully the Panthers get lots of penalties tomorrow! And then there’s the Ducks, so we’ll probably see each other a lot. Say hi to Alfie for me.

Your friend,

Spezz

Spezz –

I agree that you will be less effective with 18 and 71 on your line (obviously, they are ok, but they’re no me and Alfie) but you’re gonna have to learn to play without me sometime. I already know how to play without you, as seen at the World Championships. Remember that? I was on the first line and was named tournament MVP, and you were what? Fourth line? That was crazy. And now it’s like you’ve been demoted again. I’m still on the first line (there’s no way a line with me and Alfie on it is the second line!) and there you are on the second. Weird how that keeps happening to you.

Anyway, I think this experience will be good for you. Coach is probably right: we might just be too comfortable playing together. The fact is, I think you kinda take me for granted. Remember that time, it was like a month ago, when TSN was doing their fantasy draft show, and they asked us who we would pick first overall in our fantasy draft, and I said you, and you picked Stupidney Crosby? I mean I’m not still pissed off about that, but it was sort of a dick move by you. If you didn’t take me for granted, you would have thought of me right away, like I thought of you. Friends do that for each other.

As much as I have enjoyed our time together, I think a change will be a good thing right now. I take you for granted too sometimes. I admit that. Okay, I do it often. I know you’re going to get me pucks, so maybe I don’t work as hard as I should sometimes to get them myself. I just wait for you. I’m not being the best I could be with you there feeding me all the time. I am unquestionably awesome, but I know I can still be even better.

So yeah, don’t worry too much about my 50. I still have Alfie on my line, so I’m pretty sure I’ll be okay, especially if we can somehow get Fish going (uh … wish us luck with that one). You will probably have more of a struggle but on the other hand Nick and Jesse have played pretty good so far. You might even learn something from them!

Alfie and I are having a first liners only movie night with Fish tonight. They say hi.

– Heater

PS: I’ve had “Wind Beneath My Wings” in my head aaaaaaaaall day now, thanks so much.

*For “obtained” read “made up because I was bored.”