Game? What Game? Sens … something, Some other team something else

I have reached a sort of zen state with the Sens this season where I’m not bothered about whether they win or lose. I’d like to see them admit that this season is a bust and just focus on the future. That way there’d be no pressure on any of the players due to expectations that are obviously unrealistic and they might look a little bit less miserable. I simply can’t take any more cameras panning down the bench to show an entire team looking on the verge of tears. I am okay with the fact that wins will be few and far between for the rest of this season, but it’ll be much easier to deal with it once we all accept that this is the way it’s going to be.

Also, I must confess that the shot of John Tavares and Erik Karlsson, who were respectively named the best forward and best defenceman of the tournament, getting their awards after the gold medal game at the World Juniors last night gave me a tingly feeling and visions of those two reunited on the same ice in a few years’ time, this time playing for the same side and hoisting a rather larger trophy.

This is why I’m switching my cheer from “Go Sens go!” to “Suck Sens suck!” I know you can do it! Embrace the suckiness. It’s okay. I promise: it’ll be okay.

So, instead of writing about the game (which I honestly didn’t pay that much attention to), I present another instalment of Toothless Tuesday, a feature analysing the relative attractiveness of hockey players with and without their teeth. I debuted this feature three months ago and then never followed up, though I had planned to make it a regular thing. I’m not sure what can possibly have inspired me to do a post on the subject of teeth today, or why it seemed so appropriate to focus on Mike Fisher’s pretty pearly whites. It just came to me, I guess. Call it a sudden inspiration.

Toothless Tuesday, Exhibit B: Mike Fisher

Left: Mike Fisher. Right: Bubba Fisher.
Left: Mike Fisher. Right: Fisher’s long lost twin brother Bubba, who was raised in the backwoods of Alabama.

Tooth Story: Somewhat incredibly given his style of play, Fisher had all his teeth until December 12, 2007. It was that fateful night, during what may have been the Sens’ best game of the 2007-2008 season, that Fisher took on Carolina’s Scott Walker in a fight after Walker got unacceptably close to the Sens’ goalie and Fisher jumped in to defend his teammate. Walker headbutted Fisher, and that was all she wrote for Fisher’s front tooth.

Dentalysis: My mother loves Mike Fisher — I mean really loves him — and when I showed her the picture of him sans-tooth, she said it was the saddest thing she’d ever seen. There may have been wailing involved. Fisher too seemed quite annoyed by the loss of his tooth and I can see why. With the tooth, he’s the super clean cut prom king guy you want to take home to mom (or in my case, he’s the guy mom wants to bring home). Even with a few days’ stubble or a silly biker moustache, he’s still smokin’ hot yet totally non-threatening. Without the tooth it’s an entirely different story: he becomes the scary redneck guy who’s got a rifle in the back of his pickup truck, which you don’t get into for fear of waking up later to find yourself strung up in his basement.

Verdict: That is one false tooth that should never come out. Except maybe on Halloween.

2 comments

2 Comments so far

  1. Senators Lost Cojones January 7th, 2009 8:26 am

    Andrew Peters would like to take issue with your “Toothless Tuesday” designation.

  2. Meaghan January 7th, 2009 10:32 am

    He just wishes Ruutu had the teeth of Chris Neil.