Sens at Land’s End

Nick Lidstrom and his clones take on Jonathan Toews and his chops.

Round three is upon us, and my picks to win round two did not fare very well: only Pittsburgh made it through. With that in mind, I’ve decided to throw actual hockey analysis mostly to the wind and let my gut instinct take over when I make my predictions.

First up, the Western Conference Final, featuring the Detroit Red Wings and the Chicago Blackhawks in a Winter Classic rematch. (Come to think of it, the Penguins played in the Winter Classic last season before winning the Eastern Conference. How do we go about getting the Sens involved in one of these outdoor games?) A few of the things I’ll be watching in the series:

The Captains. Jonathan Toews turned 21 on April 29. A day earlier, Nicklas Lidstrom turned 39. Toews is a young star in the league who endeared himself to Canadians with his shootout heroics during the 2007 World Juniors. Lidstrom has won the Norris Trophy six times and is one of the best defencemen ever to play in the NHL. Aside from being great hockey players, they both also seem like pretty good guys. Lidstrom has a beautiful family, complete with four blond sons who look exactly like a set of those nested Russian dolls. Toews can’t compete with that any more than he can with Lidstrom’s lengthy list of hockey accomplishments. He does, however, have stunning dark brown eyes, plus he’s grown an excellent set of mutton chops in place of a playoff beard. This is strangely impressive. My Gut Prefers: Gotta go with Captain Sideburns. They’re fascinating!

Crease Foul Ahead. Detroit’s Tomas Holmstrom has become famous for sticking his ass in goalies’ faces. Johan Franzen does the same thing, and Dan Cleary also made his presence felt in Jonas Hiller’s crease a couple of times during the Detroit-Anaheim series, most notably in game five. This borderline goaltender interference is not my favourite tactic. No, I think it’s underhanded, dirty, cheap, whatever you want to call it. But the Wings, despite their reputation as a “skill team,” apparently can’t score without doing it, so they keep it up. Well, they could be about to get a sweet taste of their own medicine in the form of Dustin Byfuglien, who was so much in Roberto Luongo’s space in round two that some Canucks fans are crying conspiracy. I’m guessing they won’t like it much. I’m also guessing this series will be fairly nasty. My Gut Prefers: Neither. Goalie interference sucks. It would be a little bit satisfying to see the Wings get hoist with their own petard, though, so I call it a slight advantage to Chicago.

I Remember You. Ah yes, Martin Havlat, the NHL’s version of Mr. Glass, and Marian Hossa, Sidney Crosby’s version of Judas, Brutus, Benedict Arnold, Saruman the White, Fredo Corleone, Anakin Skywalker, Peter Pettigrew, Cypher from The Matrix, and whatever other famous traitors you can think of. Two very familiar faces to Ottawa fans. Hossa has four goals in the 2009 playoffs; unfortunately, he scored two of them in game four against Columbus and two more in game four against Anaheim, and is goalless in Detroit’s other nine games. But watch out for him in game four, Nikolai Khabibulin! Havlat is having a somewhat more productive postseason: with 13 points in 12 games played, he’s Chicago’s leading playoff scorer. I have no beef against either of these guys and am happy to see either one do well. For a Sens fan torn about who to cheer for in this series, picking your favourite could be a way to break the tie. My Gut Prefers: I was a big Hossa fan, but I like feeling that we won the trade with Atlanta. My mom loves Havlat and he’s been great so far. Chicago.

The Desert vs. THE DYNASTY. In case you didn’t know, the Red Wings have won four Stanley Cups in the last 15 years. If you’ve ever spoken to a Red Wings fan, chances are you were already very much aware of this fact. The Blackhawks, on the other hand, own the longest Cup drought in the NHL. The second longest belongs to the Leafs. If you are a Senators fan, chances are you were aware of this fact as well. You can probably also put two and two together and realize that a Hawks Cup win this year would make the Leafs the team that has gone the longest without sipping from Lord Stanley’s Mug. Leafs fans could no longer say, “at least we’re not Chicago.” That’s something I think most Sens fans can get behind. My Gut Prefers: My gut really likes telling the Leafs to suck it. My gut says Chicago.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T. That whole respect your elders thing we all learn about? It seems no one ever taught the Blackhawks that lesson. Just ask Jarome Iginla and the Flames. Don’t look for the Hawks to be intimidated by the Wings’ bountiful playoff experience; do look for the Wings at least to be mindful of how well the Hawks have played to this point, if not actually to respect it. My Gut Prefers: It prefers the Blackhawks. I hate to see their youthful enthusiasm crushed by the mean old Red Wings …

Prediction: … but I fear that’s exactly what’s going to happen en route to a Wings victory in the series. It’s boring, but there you have it. Wings in six.