Archive for June, 2009

Dany Heatley: Martyr

This morning when I checked in at the Ottawa airport before catching my flight back to Vancouver, WestJet offered me a free copy of the Ottawa Citizen. I wasn’t going to take it until I saw the headline “Heatley Hurting” at the top of the front page, and then I changed my mind because that was just too good to resist.

A couple my fellow Sens bloggers have already commented on the article in question, entitled ‘Everybody is crucifying Dany,’ and I don’t have much to add, really. But it made me mad again, so I’m commenting anyway.

  • “Nobody mentions that this is a guy who gives up a month of his summer every year to play for Team Canada.” Right. Because I’m sure that’s a major chore for him and not something that he does because he loves it or anything.
  • “Molloy wrote a letter to The Citizen sports department because the Heatleys told him they didn’t have ‘a forum’ to express the other side of the story.” The 6th Sens pretty much covered my feelings on this nugget in their post, but really. If you want to talk, try talking?
  • I shall paraphrase the next bit. Heatley doesn’t think the Sens believe in him (even though they signed him to a long-term contract and gave him an A) and doesn’t like seeing his minutes reduced and being put on the second power play unit (despite the fact that the Sens were desperately trying to find secondary scoring), blah blah, blahblahblah. I ran this portion of the article through my douchebag to English translator and here’s what came out: ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME.
  • “The Senators’ decline since ’07 was a factor in Heatley wanting out. ‘Two years ago, they looked like the old Montreal Canadiens,’ Molloy said, ‘but they haven’t been able to right the ship since.'” Interestingly, that same decline is what has allowed our selfless hero to devote himself to Team Canada for a month every summer. I guess maybe playing in the Worlds really is a big chore for him. Strangely, that doesn’t make me like him more.

This article has to be one of the worst attempts to garner sympathy in the history of the world. James Gordon gets it exactly right: if Heatley doesn’t want to be hated, he’s going to have to speak up at some point and offer more of an explanation for all this. The more time goes by, the less anyone is going to care what he has to say. Take me, for example: I already don’t give a crap.

Draft 2009

I did make some notes on this year’s Draft (the first round, anyway) but I haven’t had a chance to make them into an actual post yet. I might still do it, but for now I will just welcome giant Jared Cowen and all the other draft picks, especially that goalie whose dad is Henrik Lundqvist’s goalie coach (awesome!), to the team. They’re our hope for a douchebag-free future.

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Executive Business

I have returned to Ottawa for a brief visit. Upon landing today, I fully expected to find the city’s streets lit by the glow of massive Heatley jersey-fuelled bonfires. That does not appear to be the case; however, I understand that his merchandise is now 50% off at local sports stores, which bodes well for the creation of future bonfires.

The Sens held a press conference today to unveil their new management team, including Cyril Leeder as President and CEO, replacing Roy Mlakar. General Manager Bryan Murray also adds Executive Vice President to his job title. Not surprisingly, Murray fielded a lot of questions about the Heatley situation. Among other things, he pretty much confirmed that Heatley’s biggest problem was with new coach Cory Clouston. He also said:

“If he doesn’t want to be in Ottawa and there is team that offers me a deal that I think is a better deal obviously I have to put some pressure on them to accept that or he may end up playing back here.” (TSN)

This is what I like to hear. Kudos, Mr. Murray, for not caving to the whims of the mega-douche.

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I didn’t have the best week last week. I sprained my ankle and couldn’t walk without crutches for a few days. It was the last week of classes so I had schoolwork to do. The Penguins won the Cup. My new job is possibly the most boring job I’ve ever had.

Plus there was that little matter of my favourite hockey player demanding a trade. I admit I didn’t take the news very well. Perhaps it was the stress of all that other stuff building up. Whatever the cause, I felt somewhat emotional. Being unable to move around much, I spent a good portion of the week getting my frustrations out by listening to sad/angry music on my iPod.

And you know, I was feeling better. It was helping. That is, until I saw SLC’s post a few minutes ago, and then read the Citizen article he linked to. Now the rage is back in a big way. At this point, I don’t even care what his side of the story is. If it was compelling, maybe he’d tell us. He hasn’t spoken, so I’m forced to assume he’s as much of a jerk as he appears to be.

Fortunately, I still have my iPod and I’ve been constructive in my rage so I also have the playlist I’ve created about this situation. This playlist chronicles the emotional journey of a Sens fan (specifically, me) in the wake of Dany Heatley’s trade demand. I started off feeling very confused and bewildered, then moved into a terrible cycle of rage and sadness before coming to the recognition that, actually, he’s douche. I’ve named my playlist “Screw You, Heater: An Ex-Fanmix.” It’s got 15 tracks dedicated to the fact that #15 is an ass, and I hope you will enjoy reading about it.

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Crosby drinks from the Cup
Photo taken moments before the Stanley Cup crushed a ravenous Sidney Crosby.

With the Pittsburgh Penguins’ victory in game seven last night, the 2008-2009 NHL season has come to a close. It seems appropriate at this time to look back at the highlights of the year.

There was the Blue Jackets getting their first ever playoff berth. That was nice. They immediately got stomped on by the Red Wings, but still.

From a Sens perspective, there was the hiring of Cory Clouston. Of course, to get to that point we had to live through the crapitude of the Hartsburg era, and in getting a coach who can apparently make our team win we lost the source of about 20% of our offense. But hey, I’m sure it’ll be worth it. Another plus: we no longer have a Swiss goaltender. We now have a (gimpy) French Canadian waiting in the wings instead. That seems like an improvement. Other than that, let’s see … well … I guess … the team … won some games?

Take heart, Sens fans. The season from hell is done. It’s finally over. And the future looks … um.

Maybe don’t think about hockey for a while.

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Oh Right, Hockey

I was thinking of making another post about this whole stupid Heatley situation, but then I remembered that there’s still hockey going on. In fact, there’s a rather important game tonight: a game which represents the culmination of the season, and is ultimately pretty much the reason we all watch hockey. The Penguins and the Red Wings have probably worked hard to get to this point, and I think it behooves me to take notice of their accomplishment. So, despite the fact that I hate both teams with a fiery passion and haven’t watched a full game during the Final, I will now focus on them and save the rest of my bitching till the offseason (tomorrow).

I have a feeling the Penguins might pull off the first away win of the series this evening. I encountered the number 87 at work today and spotted a post about some cute baby penguins headed for a zoo exhibit called the “Power Play Zone” while I was reading blogs this morning. Those seem like omens to me.

I’ve been wrong before, though, so I thought I’d consult my trusty psychic iPod for the last time this season and see if it could give me any insight on who might win game seven. Since Tori Amos provided me with my musical message for Mr. I Totally Know How to Quit You in a previous post, I looked to her library for the answer to this important question. The song I was given was “i i e e e.” Unless one team has been committing human sacrifice, I’m not sure the lyrics are relevant. I’ve therefore concluded that this means whichever team’s players have more E’s and I’s in their names will win the game. I looked at the rosters from game six and by my count the Pens take it by 34-32. Evgeni Malkin is truly this team’s MVP.

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