Sens at Land's End

I know how to drive. Actually, I’ve known how to drive for a long time, having learned this important life skill when I was but a teenager. I have never owned my own car, however, because I’ve always had access to a family car: my mother’s or my grandfather’s. While I’m home in Ottawa for the summer, I am living with my father. Here too, I have access to a car. Unfortunately, the car in question is a standard shift and because I only ever learned to drive an automatic, having full access to said car and full permission to drive it does me exactly no good. And so, I am dependent on the good people at OC Transpo and Société de transport de l’Outaouais to carry me around the region.

Because of the fact that I work somewhere deep in the middle of Gatineau — I have no idea where it is; the bus takes me there and that’s all I know — and live near the Civic Centre, I ended up spending just about as much time in transit going to and from the Draft this weekend as I did watching people get drafted. This made for a long and tiring weekend: I left for work at 6:40am on Friday, went straight to Scotiabank Place from work, and didn’t get home until about 1:00am on Saturday; then I was out the door by 8:00am to get back to the Bank, and arrived home pretty much exhausted at about 4:45pm that afternoon.

Luckily for me, the Draft was a lot of fun, and it was totally worth getting tired! Luckily for you, I have composed an account of my two days spent in Kanata watching 18-year-old hockey players become Hockey Players. I hope you’ll enjoy it.

June 20, 2008: Draft Day I – The First Round

2:00pm: I leave my place of work in Gatineau to catch the bus back over to Ottawa, where I will catch another bus, which will take me to the place I can catch a third bus, which will drop me off somewhere vaguely near Scotiabank Place.

3:37pm (approximate): After what seems like an extremely long and complex bus ride, I get off the bus along with about five other hockey fans who are also headed to Scotiabank Place, though I don’t actually speak to any of these people. Together, but separately, we head off on the 15-20 minute walk down Palladium Drive to the arena. Scenery along this road includes … fields. And also, lampposts decorated with banners featuring Sens players. Really, there should be more places which feature Sens paraphernalia as their decorating motif.

Around 3:45pm: My iPod begins to play “Fireworks” by The Tragically Hip just as Scotiabank Place comes into view. Oh, iPod! You have such a sense of the occasion! I feel very happy when I see the building. It’s weird to say, especially considering the fact that I spent barely any time there in the last few years before I left Ottawa, but I was homesick for the place.

Around 3:50pm: I arrive in front of Scotiabank Place. There’s a carnival type thing going on out front, with games for kids (including a big inflatable slide with Spartacat on it) and a long line of people waiting to meet some of the top prospects. I stop to take a few pictures of the gigantic images of Dany Heatley, Chris Phillips, Daniel Alfredsson, Wade Redden, and Mike Fisher, all doing their best to look intimidating, which adorn the front of the building. These were put up after I moved, so this is the first time I’ve seen them up close. I have to say that they fascinate me. Can you imagine if the building you worked in had a massive image of you mounted above the front door? Freaky.

3:55pm: I go into Sensations to have a look around, but don’t buy anything. I do note that they have a red Spezza jersey in size small (my Heatley jersey, which I am wearing, is white, due to a Christmas shopping error by my father), and file this information away for possible later use.

4:00pm: The festivities upstairs are now open, so I go in. I’m handed a red Draft pom-pom to match the red playoff pom-pom I was given last May. I see Stanley sitting on a table, waiting to pose for photos with his admirers. I walk around a bit looking at the various NHL trophies, all of which are present in glass cases. The Prince of Wales Trophy, which is given to the NHL Eastern Conference Champion each year, attracts my interest due to one notable team which won it recently. At some point, I get in line to have my picture taken with Stanley. When it’s my turn, I go up and give him a big hug. It is awesome. The security guy says “You gave the Cup a big hug!” as I leave. Yes, I did.

4:44pm: My phone rings. It’s the guy to whom I’ve promised my extra draft pass. I go outside to meet him. I then check in with the three friends I’ll be watching the Draft with, who are in line to meet the top prospects. They are: Heata, a fellow Sens fan; Stajanna, a Leafs fan; and Carbonita, another Sens fan with a perhaps unhealthy Guy Carbonneau obsession. (Names have been changed to protect the innocent.) I quickly say hi to Heata and Stajanna, then head off for more wandering.

5:04pm: I decide to call my mom. You see, about six years ago, there was an incident involving Stanley showing up in our front yard and me not being able to get dressed in time to get out and have my picture taken with him. My mom, however, did get her picture taken with him, and never hesitates to rub it in. When I tell her I’ve now also had my picture taken with him, she sounds disappointed.

5:16pm: I go back outside and talk to Heata and Stajanna again. They tell me Carbonita is further back in the line so I decide to go say hello. Foolishly, I ask what she’s wearing: they tell me she’s in a Carbo shirt. Duh! When I get to the back of the line I have no trouble finding her and we chat for a while. The prospects are late for their autograph session (stuck in traffic).

5:30 or so: To avoid looking as though I’m trying to cut in the autograph line, I go find Stajanna and Heata, who’ve got their autographs and are now waiting for Carbonita. They also get autographs from a few other prospects who are randomly walking around, including Josh Bailey of the Windsor Spitfires — TSN’s mock draft had the Sens picking him with their 18th overall pick. Some guy comes up and offers us a pass to get priority seating. Heata takes it, and I go in to grab seats for the four of us. The 200 level is just about full, and I get us seats in section 306, row B. The draft floor reminds me of a stock market.

About 6:10pm: Possible legendary hockey person sighting! Is that Scotty Bowman I see on the floor? I think it is, but I’m not sure. I definitely see Gord Miller, Pierre McGuire, and Bob McKenzie from the TSN hockey panel in TSN’s broadcast area.

6:15pm or so: The man who has sat down next to me taps me on the shoulder and asks “So who do you cheer for, then?” I turn to show him the name Heatley on the back of my jersey. We start chatting, and it turns out this man is a relative of none other than Josh Bailey. Mr. Bailey is extremely nice, and I will continue chatting with him throughout the evening.

6:30pm: Heata, Stajanna, and Carbonita arrive.

6:40pm: Heata uses the super effective zoom lens on her camera to confirm that the man I spotted earlier is, in fact, Scotty Bowman. Nice!

6:45pm: Some dude tells everyone on the floor to sit down at their tables because it’s almost time to get with the drafting.

6:50pm: The same person — obviously an official with the NHL, but he never introduces himself so we have no idea who the heck he is — asks the teams to state the names of the peoeple who will be making their selections for them. He goes through the teams one by one in alphabetical order. The first team, Anaheim, gets a huge boo from the Scotiabank Place crowd, including me, because I hate them with the fire of thousand suns. Montreal, typically, gets about equal parts boo and cheer, while the Leafs get a very long boo. Ottawa, of course, gets the biggest cheer.

6:55pm: Sens owner Eugene Melnyk takes the stage to welcome us all to the Draft.

7:02pm: A TSN profile of certain #1 pick Steven Stamkos is shown on the big screen. This gets a huge cheer from the row behind us. I turn and ask them if they are Stamkoses. They say they are.

7:17pm: NHL commissioner Gary Bettman appears on stage to open the Draft. A rousing boo chorus from the crowd. Bettman, you suck, and you are really, really short. I long for a sniper rifle. (Disclaimer: I would never actually attempt to harm Mr. Bettman. I only fantasize about it.) In the midst of all the boos, Bettman thanks everyone in Ottawa for making the league feel so welcome. I grudgingly admit that this is pretty funny.

7:21pm: The Tampa Bay Lightning use the first pick in the Draft to take … suspense … wait for it … wait … you never know, they might do something unpredictable … nope, they take Steven Stamkos.

7:25pm: Stamkos is interviewed by James Duthie after being picked. Duthie says the player Stamkos is most often compared to is Steve Yzerman. After Duthie says this, I spot Yzerman himself sitting at the Red Wings’ table (so, so awesome) beside Mike Babcock. I have a knack for spotting famous Detroit Red Wings people on the floor. I can’t figure out who anyone else is, though.

7:28pm: Bettman announces that Los Angeles has one minute left to make their pick. I had no idea there was a time limit! What happens if they don’t make it? Do they forfeit the pick? Within a few seconds, LA has used its pick to take Drew Doughty, so we don’t find out the answer to that question.

7:33pm: The first trade of the evening is announced! Florida has traded Olli Jokinen to Phoenix for former Ottawa 67 Nick Boynton, Keith Ballard, and a pick. Excitement!

7:37pm: For the second time, Bettman utters what will become his mantra this evening — “I have a trade to announce” — and we find out that Los Angeles has sent Mike Cammalleri to Calgary for two picks. It had been rumoured that the Sens would send Spezza to LA for Cammalleri and a pick. That was a ridiculous rumour; still, I’m extremely relieved that it seems it definitely won’t happen. Anaheim and LA then trade a few more picks.

7:43pm: After Atlanta makes its selection, Bettman announces another trade. This time, the Flames have sent Alex Tanguay and a pick to Montreal for two picks! This must be why the Flames wanted Cammalleri. Tanguay is a pretty big salary for Montreal to take on, especially considering that we’ve heard the Leafs have given the Habs permission to negotiate with Mats Sundin.

7:55pm: Bettman tells the New York Islanders they have one minute to make their pick.

7:57pm: Clearly, Bettman is doing jack to enforce this one minute thing. Imagine — the NHL being lax with discipline.

7:58pm: Leafs’ GM Cliff Fletcher is shown on the big screen in the arena. This elicits a massive boo from the crowd. Fletcher looks up to see what’s making everyone boo, sees that it is actually himself, and smiles a little. I’m very amused. On an unrelated note, Fletcher appears to be about 100 years old.

8:00pm: Another trade, something involving the Islanders’ pick going to Toronto, and there are options and other picks, and it’s all very complicated. I have no idea what just happened, but the end result is that Toronto will pick 5th instead of the Islanders.

8:01pm: The Leafs’ crew comes up to make their pick. Mass booing ensues.

8:03pm: The Leafs take Luke Schenn. DAMMIT! I wanted the Sens to trade up and get Luke Schenn because of his resemblance to Peter from Narnia! Screw you, Leafs. The booing continues as Schenn comes up to put on his new Leafs jersey. Poor guy, being booed on his draft day. It doesn’t seem to faze him though. I will be charitable and assume the booing fans gave him this greeting to make him feel truly a part of the Leafs’ organization.

8:05pm: A Leafs fan shown on the big screen is booed. We really hate the Leafs.

8:06pm: We hear via text message from a friend of Stajanna’s that Philadelphia has sent R.J. Umberger and a pick to Columbus for two picks. I guess this means we won’t be hearing those Meszaros for Umberger rumours anymore. Lucky Umberger — he gets to go to Columbus and play with The Amazing Rick Nash! Interestingly, I’ve seen lots of people wandering around wearing Columbus jerseys today.

8:08pm: Bettman confirms the Philly-Columbus trade. At some point, we decide that Columbus is a team of the future, and we should start watching their games. My love of Rick Nash compels me to do so.

8:19pm: The Islanders trade the 7th overall pick, which they had just got about 20 minutes ago from Toronto for the 5th overall pick, to Nashville for the 9th overall pick.

8:26pm: It’s time for Phoenix to make its pick, and it’s Wayne Gretzky himself who will be doing the talking. Gretzky gets the kind of reaction Bettman doesn’t even get in his wildest dreams: a huge, long ovation, and a chant of “Gret-zky! Gret-zky!” It is always very cool to see Wayne, even if it is from a vast distance. I like his glasses.

8:28pm: Phoenix’s pick, a guy named Boedker, has a hilarious 80’s style mullet. Fantastic!

8:29pm: Now it’s the New York Islanders’ turn to pick, but as they’ve already traded their pick twice the crowd is highly dubious about the chances of them actually picking this time. I hear chants of “Trade! Trade!” As the perpetually mediocre Islanders mortgage their future, we all laugh and cheer.

8:33pm: But wait, they are actually picking this time, and they’ve picked Josh Bailey! The members of the Bailey family sitting near us give a huge cheer, as do we, since we’ve now befriended them. The man next to me looks extremely proud, and it’s a really nice moment to be part of. Josh was expected to be selected in the 15-20 range, so to see him go in the top ten is a pretty big deal. I take a picture of Josh putting on the Isles’ jersey to remember the occasion.

8:43pm: A couple of minutes after the Canucks use the tenth overall pick to select Cody Hodgson, we see a Canucks fan with Roberto Luongo’s exact haircut on the big screen. It’s uncanny.

8:53pm: Los Angeles trades the 12th overall pick to Buffalo for the 13th overall pick. Monumental.

9:05pm: We get to see another hockey legend, as Ron Francis shows up to make Carolina’s pick.

9:12pm: Bettman has another trade to announce and, he says, “you’re going to like this one.” Turns out the Sens have traded their pick, 18th overall, along with their third round pick in 2009 to Nashville for the 15th overall pick. Bettman is right: we do like that one. “Beautiful Day” begins to play and they show an Alfie montage on the big screen.

9:14pm: Time for the Sens to pick, and it’s Alfie who will be announcing the name of their selection. Alfie comes to the microphone to the biggest ovation of the night, and we get the “Al-fie! Al-fie! Al-fie!” chant going. He names Erik Karlsson, a fellow Swede, as our pick. Who? Turns out Karlsson is a defenceman — much needed in the Ottawa organization — but is a bit on the small side. I’m somewhat perplexed as to why we would draft a small player. Still, welcome to the Sens, tiny Swedish guy.

9:20pm: Bryan Murray is being interviewed by James Duthie on TSN, and they play the interview on the big screen for us. Duthie says something we don’t quite hear that draws a big cheer from the crowd. Heata is pretty sure he’s said the Sens have re-signed Chris Kelly. Duthie asks about whether Spezza will be traded. Murray says that Spezza’s no trade clause kicks in in July 09, and he will indeed still be a member of the team at that point. Another cheer from the crowd, with some jeers (no doubt from those crazy Spezza haters!) mixed in. I think I speak for Murray when I say — now, can the Spezza trade rumours please GO AWAY? Kthx.

9:23pm: Stajanna’s friend who is watching on TV has confirmed it for us: the Sens re-signed Chris Kelly to a four-year deal. Hooray!

9:28pm: Brian Burke takes the stage to make Anaheim’s pick. He is greeted with another large boo. “It’s great to be back in Ottawa,” he says. I laugh. I actually find Burke to be a pretty entertaining guy, but he works for the forces of pure evil so I can’t like him. The Ducks select Jake Gardiner. I hear later that Burke apparently wanted to take Karlsson, the Sens’ pick, and was frustrated when it didn’t happen. Nyah nyaaaaaah!

9:48pm: We get to see another hockey luminary: Glen Sather makes the New York Rangers’ pick.

9:52pm: New Jersey trades the 21st overall pick to Washington for the 23rd overall pick. Another blockbuster deal!

9:54pm: As the Caps go up to make their pick, some crazy Caps fans sitting two sections over from us start chanting “C.A.P.S. Caps! Caps! Caps!” These people are enthusiastic fans. I mean, really enthusiastic.

10:01pm: We see Bryan Murray come over to the media area in front of us to do a radio interview. What a busy day for him: waiving Emery, signing Kelly, trading picks, drafting a guy, doing interviews … he’s done a good job with it all. I’m feeling the love for BM the GM right now.

10:02pm: The Edmonton Oilers are on stage to make their pick, with Sam Gagner and His Mullet in tow.

10:06pm: The Devils are up next. This is, as Stajanna so beautifully put it, a team that has made boring an art form. Will their pick be boring, we wonder? Yes, actually: they trade pick 23 to Minnesota for pick 24 and a third rounder in 09. Woo hoo.

10:12pm: Minnesota thanks Ottawa for its hospitality, and then thanks Ottawa for helping it out with its pick, who is Tyler Cuma of the Ottawa 67’s! Yay!

10:17pm: The Devils finally actually make their pick. Huzzah!

10:25pm: The crazy Caps fans two sections over have been mysteriously replaced by crazy Buffalo Sabres fans, who go wild as the Sabres prepare to pick.

10:44pm: Phoenix has another pick so Gretzky is back. He uses the pick to take Viktor Tikhonov: not the famous Russian coach, but the famous Russian coach’s grandson. I imagine the famous Russian coach Viktor Tikhonov is a little old to play in the NHL at this point.

10:53pm: It’s time for the last pick of round 1, which belongs to the Stanley Cup Champion Detroit Red Wings. Steve Yzerman will make Detroit’s pick. Yzerman gets a great ovation from the crowd, and seems really flattered by it. Yzerman is also, it must be said, quite the hottie. I love you, Stevie Y! Detroit takes a goalie named Thomas McCollum, and with that — four hours, 30 picks, and a billion trades later — the first round is over.

11:00pm-11:23pm: The four of us are all taking the same bus back into the city so we walk to the stop together. Unfortunately, the bus we’re taking only comes every half hour, and we end up having to wait 20 minutes.

11:41pm-12:25am: The bus arrives. We sit together at the back. Heata and Stajanna get off first, then Carbonita a few minutes later. Finally, the bus gets to my stop. Sadly, the bus I need to take to get home from the bus stop is no longer running and I have to walk.

12:46am: I get home, make myself a Neo Citran to try to knock myself out as soon as possible, upload my pictures to my computer, and go to bed.

June 21, 2008: Draft Day II — Draft at Super-Speed (Rounds 2-7)

(I didn’t take detailed notes today as I did on Friday because I was too tired/lazy — take your pick — so this will be a bit less organized.)

- While I’m eating breakfast, I watch some of the highlights from round 1 on TSN. The guy says that there were 13 trades total, which is as many as had been made on the last three draft days combined! We thought it seemed like more than usual.

- I leave home at 7:55am to get my first bus. I only have to take two buses to get out there today. When I get off the bus near the Bank, I start talking to a Habs fan who was also on the bus. We make the walk to the arena together, and it turns out Habs Guy used to work in the same building where I now work. Spooky!

- I get a text from Stajanna telling me she and Heata and Carbonita are in section 225, row B today, so I go join them. Sitting next to us today is a French Canadian Habs fan in a Bob Gainey t-shirt. Bob Gainey seems to be this guy’s idol, so we name him Serge-Bob Gainey.

- Our seats are nearest to the Red Wings table, so I will spend much of the day keeping an eye on Steve Yzerman and Scotty Bowman. (Mike Babcock doesn’t appear to be there today.) Bowman is constantly up mingling with various people, including having a long chat with Bob McKenzie at one point (is this where McKenzie gets his inside info, we wonder). I imagine a lot of people want to talk to him and he seems like a pretty friendly guy. Yzerman spends more time seated at the table, presumably talking to the scouts, but he also gets up and chats sometimes. At one point he comes over near the boards and a big group of kids flocks over to get his autograph. He signs for them. Did I mention that I love Steve Yzerman?

- “Uncle Ben” Hartsburg is seated at the Sens’ table today. Apparently he was there on Friday too, but we didn’t spot him. I also find out after I get home that Chris Kelly showed up to sign his contract at the Draft table, but again, we didn’t see him.

- Columbus coach Ken Hitchcock is sitting in a box on the 100 level below us. We can see him in there most of the day. Having decided that Columbus is a Team of the Future, we now decide we’ll all buy Blue Jackets t-shirts to wear. We don’t know where we could get some in Ottawa, though. At one point, Serge-Bob Gainey spots Actual Bob Gainey in the box talking to Hitchcock and borrows Heata’s Sharpie to go and try to get Gainey to sign his shirt. We all keep our eye on the box where Hitchcock and Gainey are to see what happens. Serge-Bob appears and manages to get Gainey’s attention. A few minutes later we see Gainey disappear — hopefully he’s with Serge-Bob! Gainey then re-appears in the box and proceeds to actually climb out of it, standing on the arm of a seat before reaching the ground again. He makes his way back to the Montreal table by acrobatically going over, rather than around, the Scotiabank Place seats and various other obstacles in his way. This is pretty impressive, and we christen him Indiana Jones Gainey for it. From now on, climbing over seats to get around people will now be known as going Gainey-style. Serge-Bob returns victorious: he has Gainey’s signature on the back of his shirt. We’re happy for him! He is very apologetic because he’s accidentally lost Heata’s Sharpie, and tries to give her a toonie to buy a new one.

- Every time it’s Phoenix’s turn to make a pick, there’s some kind of delay. We feel that the Coyotes are like that guy in line ahead of you who has to count out all his change before he can pay.

- Phoenix uses the second round pick it got from the Sens in the Oleg Saprykin trade to select Jared Staal, the fourth (and final) Staal brother. Sadly, the Staals are not in attendance. The Coyotes draft another player with NHL pedigree when they take Brett Hextall, son of Ron, in the sixth round. I wonder if the fact that Wayne’s brother Keith Gretzky is on the Coyotes’ staff has anything to do with this habit of selecting the relatives of famous hockey people. Meanwhile, David Toews, brother of Jonathan, is taken in the third round by the Islanders. The Toews family is also not in attendance.

- In the third round, Phoenix takes M. Brodeur. Okay, it’s Mathieu Brodeur and he’s a defenceman, but still — M. Brodeur! Carolina drafts Michal Jordan in the sixth round. This, of course, is an 18-year-old Czech defenceman, not a 45-year-old legendary American basketball player. That doesn’t stop us from joking that all he needs to do now is play football and he’ll have the complete set.

- Towards the end of the day, we see Julien Demers of the Ottawa 67’s, who’d been drafted by the Sharks in round 5 (yes, the Sharks drafted a 67’s player!! Imagine that!), wander in to the section of seats below us. He’s soon joined by Brian Kilrea and 67’s owner Jeff Hunt. Brian Kilrea is the man!

- After the Draft ends, we’re walking out to the exit when we stumble upon (not literally) Sens player Nick Foligno in the hallway. We say hello, and Stajanna, Leafs jersey and all, asks Foligno for a picture with him, telling him she and her mother are fans of his father. Nick points out that his father is in fact right over there, so Stajanna gets a picture with him too. Foligno was bigger than I thought he’d be, in terms of muscle. He looks absolutely nothing like his father.

- Other random interesting people we saw: Brett Hull, sitting at the Dallas table announcing the Stars’ picks with great enthusiasm and signing the back of a kid wearing a Red Wings jersey; Ted Nolan; Alain Vigneault, chatting with Pierre LeBrun — I figure Vigneault must get a bit lonely having not many people to speak French to in Vancouver; Nick Kypreos, who lent Serge-Bob his Sharpie after the loss of Heata’s; Ron Wilson, whose interview with one media person quickly turns into a large-ish media scrum — yes, Ron, this is what it’s going to be like for you from now on; and a guy from Hockey Night in Canada’s Hot Stove whose name we can’t remember.

- Interesting fact: Round 1 took four hours to complete. Rounds 2-7 also took four hours to complete.

Summary: The Overall Draft Experience

What I learned is that attending the Draft is not really about watching people get drafted. Oh no. It’s partly about that, sure, but what it’s really about is a more general kind of people watching. Some of the people there are getting drafted, and you are definitely watching them, but you are also watching the people who are doing the drafting, and the people watching the Draft, and probably those people are watching you, too. Know what I mean?

Basically, what I am trying to say is that going to the Draft turned out to be a great opportunity to meet and mingle with other hockey fans, to observe the people who run the NHL actually making the NHL run, and to be a part of what is probably the best day in some 18-year-old boys’ lives. I’m really glad I was able to go, because it’s not an opportunity that comes around that often.

Coming up in this space: a post which actually talks about the Sens’ various draft picks!

There is big excitement brewing in Ottawa as the NHL Draft will take place here in our fair city, or at least a suburb of it, starting tomorrow. Prospects, general managers, and TSN’s hockey panel have already arrived in the area. Speculation is running wild about which teams will pick which players, and which players are likely to be traded. Craziest rumour I’ve heard so far: Malkin to Los Angeles?! for a pick and Mike Cammalleri?!!?

… huh?!

I was already starting to question Ray Shero’s sanity. I understand that the Penguins are going to have cap issues pretty soon, but I’m finding the way they’re handling the problem very odd. First I hear that they’re not going to re-sign Ryan Malone, who was an absolute warrior for them in the playoffs. Not only that, Malone is from Pittsburgh and wanted to stay with the Penguins.

Now the Pens might actually be trying to get rid of Malkin. They could be taking Evgeni Malkin off their team. By choice! The seven year, $50 million deal they’ve apparently offered to Marian Hossa looks to me as though it could be Malkin’s money going in another direction. I know Malkin didn’t have a great Stanley Cup Final but can the Penguins really already have forgotten what he did when Sidney Crosby was out injured during the season? Not to mention the rest of the playoffs. As much as I like Hossa, I have no idea why the Penguins would prioritize him over Malkin. I just don’t get it. Throw in the fact that Malkin has already told the media he’d be happy to sign an extension in Pittsburgh, and this entire thing looks totally insane.

It probably is complete hogwash, which means Shero won’t have to be committed. Hopefully, the same can be said for Bryan Murray: don’t look now, Sens fans, but the Cammalleri and a pick rumour has also come up in relation to Jason Spezza. I’ve said it before and I’ll likely continue to say it until his no trade clause kicks in, but I’m totally against trading Spezza unless I’m seeing Roberto Luongo come back in the deal and even then I’m not sold on the idea. Bryan Murray, as usual, laughed off the Spezza rumour, thank goodness:

“You guys make up more stuff than I can ever imagine,” Ottawa general manager Bryan Murray told reporters on Thursday. “I heard a rumour last night that Pittsburgh was moving one of their star players. I talked to their manager today to see if I could be included in the discussions and they kind of laughed at me.”

He thinks they were laughing because the rumour wasn’t true, but maybe they were just laughing at him for wanting to be included. Hockey executives can be very cliquey.

I will be going out to the Draft tomorrow afternoon straight from work. I work in Gatineau, so it’s going to take me about two hours to get out to Scotiabank Place on the combination of public bus and foot which is my primary mode of transportation these days. Luckily, Jobs created iPods for this exact type of situation, so I think I’ll survive the trip. Here’s hoping I get to see some serious draft day excitement to make my long commute worthwhile.

If these rumours of the Sens trading up to get a higher pick turn out to be true, then I’m hoping they’ll trade up high enough to take Luke Schenn. This would probably involve making a deal with the Blues, Islanders, or Blue Jackets, who have the fourth, fifth, and sixth overall picks, respectively. In the spirit of Puck Daddy’s five ridiculous reasons why you don’t want to draft Steven Stamkos, I present:

Four Awesome Reasons Why I Want the Sens to Draft Luke Schenn

1. Nickname: Pierre McGuire has dubbed Schenn “the Human Eraser.” I am honestly not sure what Pierre means by this (He rubs out his opponents? He cancels out other defencemen’s mistakes? If you beat him against a wall you’ll get lots of dust?) but it sure sounds cool.

2. Uncanny Resemblance to Peter from Narnia:

Luke Schenn

Peter from Narnia

See, they’re like twins! I have a completely age-inappropriate crush on Peter from Narnia, so I find this resemblance pleasing. Also, Peter is brave, noble, and strong; thus, I assume Luke Schenn must also be brave, noble, and strong. He is therefore exactly the type of person we want on our team.

3. Actual Hockey-Related Attributes: At 6′3″ and 212 lbs., Schenn is the biggest of the top 10 ranked prospects. TSN’s draft rankings state that he is “without question the best defensive defenceman available in the draft, a big, physical presence with an edge who perfectly understands his role as a shutdown defender.” Using my extremely perceptive hockey mind, I have determined that the Sens’ defence behind Phillips and Volchenkov is pretty freaking crappy right now. Schenn would certainly help out in that area.

4. Good Vibes: Yes, I just have a good feeling that Luke Schenn ending up in a Sens uniform would be the best thing for all concerned. Why? I don’t know. But Murray, make it so.

In my time living in Vancouver, I’ve discovered that there are two types of Vancouverites. One type is the messy-haired pot-smoking hippie who doesn’t eat meat because he doesn’t believe in cruelty to animals. The other type is the Lululemon-wearing mountain-climbing hippie who is a vegetarian because he believes it’s a healthy lifestyle choice.

Despite the obviously vast differences between these two types of people, they do share certain characteristics which unite them all and enable them to live together in harmony; for example, they do not require sunlight to live, and they can survive on a diet consisting of only sushi. Plus, although they may come from different schools of hippiedom, they are all hippies in the end.

But most importantly, all Vancouverites share a massive, gigantic amount of undying love for one man. A man who not only possesses great hockey skills, but also appears to be a genuinely good person, and who could inspire the people of the city to rise to their feet and produce one of the loudest standing ovations I have ever heard, just by taking the ice to participate in a shootout.

That man is Trevor Linden, and he announced his retirement today. It’s a very sad day for Vancouver. Trevor, the Canucks won’t be the same without you.

Henrik Zetterberg’s epic penalty killing during the Penguins’ long 5-on-3 in game 4 really might have been the greatest PK I’ve ever seen. He was incredible defensively, and more dangerous than all the Penguins offensively. It’s no wonder the guy is nominated for the Selke Trophy.

Reading an article about the game, I noticed this comment from Sidney Crosby regarding Zetterberg’s play:

“He made a good play on me, got my stick,” Crosby said. “Just did a good job of trying to get a stick in the lane. I don’t think he did anything out of the ordinary besides (what) any other guy would do on a 5-on-3.”

Oooookaaaaaay. I’d love to know what 5-on-3 kills he’s been watching, then. That is why I hate the Penguins so much right now. They haven’t given an ounce of credit to a single one of their opponents throughout their playoff run. They’ve been terrible winners and now sore losers. I guess it’s their lack of maturity showing itself somewhere other than in Crosby’s beard.