Sens at Land's End

To recap the trade: Ottawa sends Dany Heatley and a fifth round draft pick in 2010 to San Jose for Milan Michalek, Jonathan Cheechoo, and a second round pick in 2010.

It’s obviously too soon to tell how this trade is going to work out, but overall I think I like it. Heatley had to go: if he had stayed, he would have been a huge distraction and that is the last thing this team needed. Bryan Murray told the media he realized once Heatley arrived in Ottawa that he had to make a deal sooner rather than later:

“I did spend some time with him yesterday. When I looked him in the eye I knew I had to trade him,” said Murray. “I just felt that we had to move him. As I said to Daniel Alfredsson, what we should care about here is the core of this hockey team. This will help the guys become a competitve team again.” (Ottawa Sun)

It sounds as though he felt Heatley’s attitude would be a problem the team could not overcome. Personally, I’m thrilled to see the guy gone — one major reason being that I was really sick of hearing trade rumours and being in limbo all the time. I can’t even imagine what it was like for the players. I’d really like it if the focus in Ottawa this season could somehow be on the team on the ice instead of some stupid off-ice drama.

As for the players coming back, I’m not jumping for joy but I’m cautiously optimistic, or at least intrigued. Jonathan Cheechoo (RW) is about six months older than Heatley, with a cap hit of  $3 million and a contract that ends after the 2010-2011 season. I know he hasn’t been a stellar performer the last few years statistically speaking, but I watched the Sharks-Ducks playoff series this year and I was impressed with him. I thought he was one of very few Sharks players who played with any energy. I highly doubt he’ll ever score 56 goals again, but he’s far from a waste of a roster spot. Bryan Murray says Ottawa hopes to get 25 goals out of him, which seems possible — depending on where he plays. I think they’ll have to give him at least a chance at playing with Jason Spezza, just to see what happens.

I don’t know very much about Milan Michalek. He’s a 24-year-old LW, his cap hit is $4.333 million (he’s on the inverted Mike Fisher contract … yikes), and he’s signed until 2014. He’s put up 55 points or more in each of the last three seasons, which would have put him fourth in scoring on the Sens in each of those seasons (among players who spent an entire season with the team). A look at some Sharks forums reveals that Sharks fans consider him soft, but he plays well defensively.

All of this leaves the Sens with an interesting situation at forward, as Allen Panzeri sums up:

Depending on where Christoph Schubert plays – and he’s initially listed as a forward – the Senators now have 14 forwards on one-way contracts. Murray would like to add one of the rookies, such as a Zack Smith or a Peter Regin, to his roster, but that would mean he’d have to make a trade during training camp.

“If you can get the word out to the other teams that there are a couple that we can talk about at least, I’d be very happy,” said Murray. (Ottawa Citizen)

So these are the potential forwards (assuming Smith and Regin are the most likely rookies to make the team):

Just a tad uneven. If you put all the wingers on one of those justice-type balancing scales, the thing would tip over.  From what I’ve read, Kovalev is not a good candidate to move to the left side. I’m unsure about Cheechoo and I can’t remember if I’ve ever seen Alfie move over there because I’m absolutely horrible at noticing who’s playing where. The bottom line, though, is that one of those three will most likely have to switch.

All this leads to interesting speculation about line combinations. Stayclassy.net, Silver Seven, The 6th Sens, Five for Smiting, and Black Aces have all already offered some analysis of the situation. My take: I think I’d try a first line of Michalek – Spezza – Cheechoo, and a second line of Alfie – Fisher – Kovalev (Alfie goes left because he’s that guy who’s always willing to try a different role). It’s unfortunate that the team still hasn’t been able to get a legitimate second line centre, but they might be able to mitigate the situation a bit if they tried moving Foligno, who played centre in junior and once or twice under Craig Hartsburg last season, to the middle on the theory that two third line centres is better than one third line centre and a bunch of fourth line centres. Who knows if Foligno would be comfortable as an NHL centre long-term though? At any rate, there’s room to shuffle this group around and, assuming some of them develop chemistry, this is a more balanced crop of forwards than Ottawa had last season. Except it leans to the right.

If Murray truly does want to see Smith or Regin in the lineup, then it’s clear that something has to give and it’s possible we’ll see another trade. I have no idea which of these players the Sens will consider most expendable (but maybe a RW, y’know?), or which might draw the most interest from other teams, or whether those two lists will intersect at all.

It’s also worth noting that the team has now committed about $39 million to its forwards — that’s 68% of the $57 million salary cap. They can’t possibly continue like this for much longer.

And just after I press “post” on my Re-Draft update, this happens.

You know what? I don’t even care who we got back right now. I’ll think about that later. I’m so relieved to have this done, and to have it done 20 minutes before Canucks tickets go on sale so I can get my boo on? That’s a sweet, sweet bonus.

Bye bye, douchebag.

(By the way, the official Sens Twitter account has published this information so it seems safe to assume this isn’t another ESPN false alarm.)

I decided to invite Dany Heatley to my birthday party.

I asked him if he’d like to come, and he said he’d definitely be happy to be there. Then he asked me when it would be. I told him the date, but he said he’d need more options: a list of potential dates to choose from, or he couldn’t possibly decide whether to attend.

I told him I only had one other possible date, and that didn’t work for him. He said okay; he’d come on the original date if he had to, but he’d still rather I changed it to something else.

Then he said he didn’t really envision himself in the role of “guest” at my party. He’d hoped to play a more “integral” role in the gathering. I told him fine, you can be my date and co-host, and help greet people. At first, he seemed okay with that idea. After a while, though, he said he wanted to have the party for his birthday instead of mine.

I put my foot down. It’s my freaking birthday, after all. “If date/co-host isn’t good enough for you,” I said, “maybe you can just go back to being a guest.” He didn’t really respond, but I got the feeling he wasn’t going to give up the co-host role that easily.

Well, at this point I’d had enough. What do I want a sulky co-host for? I called him up and said I’d thought of an even better and more important role for him to play at the party: entertainment! I figured he’d like that because it would put him in the spotlight. He did, but he asked if he could still be my date and keep the title of co-host too. I said fine, whatever.

The day of the party arrived and Heatley showed up. He went up on stage to do his thing, and even though he came up with some good material everyone threw things at him and booed him constantly. It was very entertaining. Meanwhile, I ignored him all night and let Dustin Penner, Andrew Cogliano, and Ladislav Smid drive me home.

(Credit to Dan for inspiring and unwittingly help compose this post via Twitter.)

Heatley will be accompanied in Kelowna by agent Stacey McAlpine who says we shouldn’t expect his client to shed much light on why the star winger wants out of Ottawa.  “There are several factors and a variety of reasons,” McAlpine told TSN.  “However, out of respect to the Ottawa Senators and all involved, Dany is not getting into specifics…that will remain confidential.” (TSN)

The conference call was initiated by Hockey Canada, which wants the Heatley distractions out of the way before the Olympic team orientation camp next Monday through Wednesday in Calgary. Steve Yzerman, executive director of the Olympic team, empathizes with Senators fans and says Heatley has to provide some answers in order that he not become a sideshow.

“In fairness to the Senators’ fans and the media, it needs to be addressed,” Yzerman said. “It has to be addressed. We’ll get it done. Obviously, it will be a hot topic for one day. Everybody get it out of the way. Everybody ask the questions that need to be asked. Dany, answer those questions. And everybody move on.” (Ottawa Citizen)

Two very different ideas of what needs to be said. One wonders what exactly the Heatley camp’s vision of this conference call is. If he’s not going to talk about why he wants out, what does he have to say that is relevant to our lives in any way? He has never respected anything but his own interest in this situation. Why start now? Could it be because his reasons will make him look like a giant asshole? If so, I’ve got news for you, Dany: that ship has sailed.

J.P. Barry also states that Heatley will report to camp if he’s not traded by then. His exact words: “It was never our interest not to show up.” Someone else might have used the word “intent” there. Not these guys.

At any rate. It’s nice to know Stevie Y and Hockey Canada have our backs.

He speaks at 1pm Eastern, 10am Pacific. The Team 1200 will carry it live. Should be scintillating.

Dany Heatley will speak to the media tomorrow, for the first time since his trade demand. I admit, I’m surprised. I thought if Hockey Canada tried to force the issue he would probably just skip the Olympic camp rather than put himself through any unpleasantness. Apparently his desire to play for Canada next year cannot be underestimated.

As I’ve watched the story of Heatley’s turn to douchebaggery unfold this summer, I’ve also been watching my way through One Tree Hill. Perhaps surprisingly, I’ve noticed some striking similarities between the two dramas. In case you’re not familiar with it, One Tree Hill is a CW show (read: prime time teen soap opera) revolving around the lives of the citizens of Tree Hill, North Carolina. The premise of the show is simple: two half-brothers, Lucas and Nathan, have the same father but different mothers. Both go to the same high school and play for the same basketball team, but they’ve had very different lives. Their father, Dan Scott, abandoned Lucas’ mother Karen, his high school sweetheart, when she found out she was pregnant. He went off to college where he met the wealthy Deb, who was pregnant with Nathan within a few months. Dan married Deb and Nathan was raised in relative wealth, while Karen and Lucas, whom Dan never acknowledged as his son, struggled to make ends meet. Unsurprisingly, Nathan and Lucas, only three months apart in age, grow up to be rivals on and off the basketball court. Drama ensues.

Got all that? Okay.

Let’s take a closer look at the character of Dan Scott, the father who created the whole brother vs. brother situation. Now that I’ve watched all of One Tree Hill, I have come to the conclusion that Dan Scott is the most evil character on television. No one else even comes close. The Cylons from  Battlestar Galactica? Sure, they annihilated the human race, but other than that they were actually pretty okay.  Smallville’s Lex Luthor? Dan would wipe the floor with him. Whoever that guy was on the season finale of Lost? Dan is way more manipulative. Even my favourite TV supervillain, Mayor Wilkins from Buffy, was ultimately defeated by his human weakness, in the form of his love for Faith. Something like that would never work on Dan Scott. Why? Because Dan Scott has no positive human emotions. Dan Scott doesn’t care about anything but winning, and he’ll do just about anything to prop up his own ego. Here is a brief survey of some of the things Dan has done during the show’s first six seasons:

• Constantly badgers and belittles his favourite son Nathan, to the point where Nathan decides to get legally emancipated at age 17.
• Counsels Lucas and his girlfriend Brooke to get an abortion when they have a pregnancy scare … just like he wishes Lucas’ mother Karen had aborted Lucas.
• Viciously fouls Nathan during a father-son basketball game to prevent him from scoring the winning basket. Is also physically violent with both his sons at various times off the basketball court.
• Blackmails wife Deb into staying married to him by threatening to go after Nathan if she divorces him. By “go after,” I don’t mean as in get custody of him. I mean as in make his life a living hell and destroy him.
• Hires a woman, Jules, to pretend to fall in love with his brother Keith. Laughs after Jules leaves Keith at the altar.
• And the piece de resistance: kills Keith in cold blood, using the aftermath of a school shooting at Tree Hill High to cover up his crime. Yes, he frames the dead kid responsible for the school shooting — who didn’t actually kill anyone but himself — for his brother’s murder.

I could go on, but you have the idea. Dan Scott is a very bad person. It’s not just about the big evil gestures with him. Evil is his way of life. Hardly a moment goes by that he isn’t either plotting something or tearing someone down.

You are probably thinking: what the hell does this have to do with hockey? Aside from the fact that Paul Johansson, the actor who plays Dan, is the son of Stanley Cup trivia answer Earl Johnson, not much. But if we look back far enough to find the root of Dan’s evil, I think we can see a lesson in all this for our snotty sniper.

You see, Dan first became a douchebag when he was a high school basketball player. His team, the Ravens, made it to the state championship and lost. Why did they lose? Well, there was some conflict between the team’s star player (Dan, naturally) and the coach, Whitey Durham.

Dan: Back when I played for Whitey, his word was law. He was always right. Even when he was wrong. So eventually I called him on it.

Nathan: And he benched you in the state championship.

Dan: Yeah, so he claimed. He covered and acted like he benched me. But you should know the truth. I refused to go back in that game. We were ahead in the fourth quarter, and Whitey wanted to stall. What did I tell you about playing with the lead?

Nathan: Be aggressive.

Dan: Exactly. Be aggressive. Plus, there were scouts who were there to see me. This guy was checking me … I disobeyed Whitey and I scored on him … so Whitey called a time out and starts screaming about how it’s his system that got us there and no one player was bigger than the team. So I sat down and I called his bluff.

Nathan: And they lost.

Dan: Yeah, I felt bad for the guys. But he needed to know I’m the one who got us there. Not him and not his system.

Sound familiar? I thought so.

In season six of One Tree Hill, Dan is out of prison (he eventually confesses to Keith’s murder) and looking to get back into Nathan and Lucas’ lives. Unfortunately, almost everyone in Tree Hill hates him. His jersey number has been unretired by the high school. His sons are so glad to see him after he rescues his grandson Jamie from a kidnap plot that they beat the crap out of him. Also, karma has finally caught up with him, in big and really quite ridiculous ways. He gets kidnapped by the same psycho nanny who tried to steal Jamie. He’s dying of heart failure which leads to everyone making jokes about his lack of heart all the time. He has to resort to pre-buying his own tombstone — a giant monument for a man with a giant ego — to ensure that someone, anyone will remember him. And then a dog eats his heart. Literally. When he goes in for a transplant, a dog eats his heart. While he watches.

What lies ahead for Heatley?

After spending some time walking into the ocean dramatically and cursing God, Dan decides to look for redemption. He visits Whitey and begs for forgiveness, not for killing Keith, but for being such an egotistical asshole and horrible teammate. It’s the state championship that he sees as the beginning of the end for him:

I wish I’d gone back in that game. The state championship. When I look back at my life and see where it all went wrong, that’s where I always end up. Fourth quarter, time running down, sitting on the bench at the state championship, and refusing to play. At night, in my dreams, I do go back in. In my dreams. I take it back. All of it. And then I wake up. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for that day and every day since.

I think the message here is obvious. There is nothing good at the end of the path Heatley has chosen. If he doesn’t want to end up a broken man with no friends and a literal lack of heart instead of a figurative one, he’d do well to re-evaluate his attitude. As he prepares to speak to the media, he should keep Dan Scott’s fate in mind.